


Typo

by spaceconspiracy, speedybeams



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And thus, Dialogue-Only, Drunk Texting, M/M, Texting, but with ereri, imagine a finger slip, one day i was like
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-11 17:47:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3332084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceconspiracy/pseuds/spaceconspiracy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/speedybeams/pseuds/speedybeams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren texts the wrong number and Levi's just really lonely</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. November 15th, 2014

**Author's Note:**

> aaaAAH okay
> 
> hey hi hello so this iSN'T my first fic ((well it is on here lol)) but it IS the first thing I've posted in like yeARS so I am sorry if it is not up to par but I am tryinG
> 
> if you don't know what A Finger Slip is, it is a johnlock fic done only in texts and it was based off of some klaine fic called Little Numbers
> 
> ALSO thank you to my love my life @undercovermoffat for doing the levi thing ilysm go check her out she writes ereri and it's A+++
> 
> but yEAH I hope u like it!!~  
> but it's totally ok if u don't!!

Eren | _Levi_ | **Hanji**

**November 15th, 2014**

(Sat 9:45pm)

ayy dickbutt

(Sat 9:45pm)

our sociology thing is next week and we haven't done anything about it so I'm giving you an all expense paid trip to my place for burgers and titanfall

(Sat 9:46 pm)

and y'know studying, probably

_(Sat 9:47pm)_

_I don’t know who the fuck this is but I take my burgers with no tomato, thank you_

__

(Sat 9:50pm)

didn’t even save my number smh

(Sat 9:50pm)

what Armin sees in you I’ll never know

(Sat 9:51pm)

it’s Eren, dickwad

_(Sat 10:06pm)_

_Who’s Armin. Fuck you, I’m hot as hell._

_(Sat 10:07pm)_

_I don’t know an Eren, shitfuck._

__

(Sat 10:07pm)

oh shit

(Sat 10:08pm)

typed in the wrong number, sorry!

_(Sat 10:13pm)_

_It’s whatever_

_(Sat 10:17 pm)_

_Here’s to getting your sociology shit done._

__

(Sat 10:18pm)

thanks man :D

(Sat 10:19pm)

or lady

(Sat 10:19pm)

or y’know whatever u go by

_(Sat 10:21pm)_

_Levi._

__

(Sat 10:25pm)  
Levi

(Sat 10:25pm)

that’s cool

(Sat 10:26pm)

do you pronounce it like leeee-vi or like leh-vi

_(Sat 10:27pm)_

_<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFfmXl9NJP0> _

__

(Sat 10:29pm)

so like the jeans lmao

(Sat 10:30pm)

I guess that should have been obvious

_(Sat 10:32pm)_

_If I had a dollar for every time I heard ‘like the jeans’ I’d be a rich bastard._

(Sat 10:33pm)

B)

(Sat 10:33pm)

how are you, Levi like the jeans? :)

_(Sat 10:34pm)_

_Cold as fuck._

_(Sat 10:35pm)_

_It’s too fucking windy out._

_(Sat 10:35pm)_

_Hold onto yourself, kid, you’ll get blown away._

__

(Sat 10:37pm)

woah woah woah now that’s a lot of assumptions right there

(Sat 10:38pm)

how do you know it’s windy where I’m at

_(Sat 10:39pm)_

_Same area code, smartmass._

__

(Sat 10:40pm)

fair enough

(Sat 10:42pm)

well I’ll have you know I’m more than enough muscle

(Sat 10:43pm)

no need to worry about me goin anywhere

_(Sat 10:54pm)_

_Flirting isn’t going to get you anywhere._

_(Sat 10:55pm)_

_Besides, you’re obviously a broke college kid. You probably live off frozen pizza and ramen._

_(Sat 10:55pm)_

_Disgusting._

__

(Sat 11:01pm)

I’d be offended if it wasn’t true

(Sat 11:01pm)

thE BROKE COLLEGE KID THING NOT THE FLIRTING

(Sat 11:02pm)

oh man

_(Sat 11:02pm)_

_Gross._

_(Sat 11:03pm)_

_Ah, so you were flirting._

(Sat 11:03pm)

was not

_(Sat 11:04pm)_

_“” I’m more than enough muscle “”_

__

(Sat 11:05pm)

I was just stating one of the few truths of this world

_(Sat 11:05pm)_

_Flirtatiously._

_(Sat 11:06pm)_

_Tch, haven’t even met me and you already can’t keep it in your pants._

_(Sat 11:06pm)_

_I don’t blame you._

(Sat 11:07pm)

for all I know you could be old as balls

(Sat 11:07pm)

or like a greasy 30 yo who watches my little pony and shoots up mountain dew

_(Sat 11:09pm)_

_What’s wrong with being 30_

_(Sat 11:09pm)_

_What’s wrong with My Little Pony_

(Sat 11:10pm)

oh my god are you a 30 yo brony mountain dew addict

(Sat 11:10pm)

I wouldn’t blame you for the mountain dew tbh

(Sat 11:11pm)

MAKE A WISH

_(Sat 11:11pm)_

_No, just 30._

_(Sat 11:12pm)_

_I probably shouldn’t be texting a college kid._

_(Sat 11:12pm)_

_What the fuck are you talking about_

(Sat 11:14pm)

oh my god you are old as balls

(Sat 11:14pm)

are you like a dad jesus

(Sat 11:15pm)

you’re supposed to make a wish on 11:11 duh

(Sat 11:15pm)

but you’ve missed your chance for the night :( now you gotta wait til tomorrow

_(Sat 11:18pm)_

_Shut up_

_(Sat 11:18pm)_

_You probably won’t even live to see 30, not with your diet._

_(Sat 11:19pm)_

_Damn, how am I supposed to live on now that I've missed my nightly wish. Now my dreams will never come true._

****  


.

.

.

****  
  


(Sun 8:15am)

sorry!!

_(Sun 8:32am)_

_Who the fuck_

(Sun 8:33am)

we already had this conversation!

_(Sun 8:40am)_

_???_

_(Sun 8:41am)_

_Oh you’re that brat from last night._

_(Sun 8:41am)_

_Unless it’s for using up all my minutes, in that case, apology not accepted._

(Sun 8:43am)

wow you ARE old

(Sun 8:45am)

sorry if I woke you up

_(Sun 8:46am)_

_You did._

_(Sun 8:49am)_

_It’s fine._

_(Sun 8:50am)_

_But what the fuck were you saying sorry in the first place for._

(Sun 8:54am)

I fell asleep in the middle of our conversation

_(Sun 8:57am)_

_You're not obligated to apologise to me, kid. We're not friends._

_(Sun 8:59am)_

_It's fine._

(Sun 9:01am)  
excuuuse me for trying to me nice

(Sun 9:05am)

well I gotta go sell overpriced band shirts to middle class scene kids

(Sun 9:05am)

bug ya later ;)

_(Sun 9:09am)_

_Weird I pictured you as a middle class scene kid._

_(Sun 9:09am)_

_Oh, please do._

_(Sun 9:19am)_

_That was sarcasm, by the way._

__

.

.

.

(Sun 11:11am)

MAKE A WISH

_(Sun 11:11am)_

_All I want are some zebra cakes._

(Sun 11:12am)

I will buy you a garden where your zebra cakes can bloom

_(Sun 11:14am)_

_That literally made no fucking sense._

__

(Sun 11:14am)

I will buy you a new life - Everclear

(Sun 11:15am)

good song, no zebra cakes tho

(Sun 11:16am)

break’s over! bug ya even later

_(Sun 11:18am)_

_Excuse you who the fuck are you to tell me whether or not I’m getting zebra cakes, fuck you._

_(Sun 11:20am)_

_Please don’t._

.

.

.

(Sun 2:34pm)

Teacher.

_(Sun 2:41pm)_

_Is this some kind of roleplaying shit shit because I’m not into that._

(Sun 2:42pm)

hOLY SHIT

(Sun 2:43pm)

alright so not a teacher. lawyer? broke unemployed writer? assassin?

_(Sun 2:54pm)_

_What the fuck are you doing_

_(Sun 2:54pm)_

_I told you I’m not into that roleplaying shit._

_(Sun 3:00pm)_

_Holy shit are you trying to guess my job_

_(Sun 3:02pm)_

_You have about as much finesse as_

_Well as an awkward teenager actually, congratulations on fulfilling your rightful role._

__

(Sun 3:03pm)

that’s awkward YOUNG ADULT according to the LAW

(Sun 3:04pm)

alright I give up

(Sun 3:04pm)

what does the elusive Levi do for a living

_(Sun 3:06pm)_

_Is this your way of letting me know you’re legal_

_(Sun 3:06pm)_

_And they say chivalry is dead_

_(Sun 3:07pm)_

_I’m hardly elusive and that’s hardly your business_

(Sun 3:10pm)

figured me being in college would have given at least that much away

(Sun 3:10pm)

flirting with a college student wow how very pervy old man of you

(Sun 3:11pm)

what will the kids think Levi

_(Sun 3:13pm)_

_Well, if they're smart the kids would call the police._

_(Sun 3:15pm)_

_But they're parents probably sheltered them so they're probably fucking idiots and would get into a van for a Jolly Rancher._

_(Sun 3:15pm)_

_Not that I wouldn't get in a van for a Jolly Rancher_

(Sun 3:16pm)

jesus dude

(Sun 3:19pm)

*their

_(Sun 3:20pm)_

_What_   
_(Sun 3:20pm)_

_Oi, fuck you_

(Sun 3:22pm)

you got all INTENSE  
(Sun 3:22pm)

maybe I'm starting to crack you  
(Sun 3:23pm)

what? is the not teacher/lawyer/unemployed writer/assassin/brony mad he got schooled by a broke college kid

_(Sun 3:26pm)_

_You wish_   
_(Sun 3:28pm)_

_You think you're hot shit don't you_

(Sun 3:28pm)

one day  
(Sun 3:29pm)

you love it

_(Sun 3:31pm)_

_I love it when you leave me alone_

.

.

.

(Sun 10:40pm)

what kind of name is Levi anyway

_(Sun 10:43pm)_

_LEVI_

_PRONOUNCED: LEE-vie (English)_

_Meaning & History_

_Means "attached" in Hebrew. In the Old Testament, Levi is the third son of Jacob and Leah, and the ancestor of one of the twelve tribes of the Israelites._

(Sun 10:44pm)

so you’re Jewish

(Sun 10:46pm)

EREN

Meaning & History

Means “saint, holy person” in Turkish

(Sun 10:46pm)

I can use the internet too

_(Sun 10:47pm)_

_“holy person” huh_

_(Sun 10:48pm)_

_so you’re Turkish_

__

(Sun 10:48pm)

yes actually :D

(Sun 10:48pm)

well half

(Sun 10:49pm)

mom’s Turkish, dad’s German

_(Sun 10:50pm)_

_Neat_

_(Sun 10:52pm)_

_My dad was French_

__

(Sun 10:56pm)

yoOOOOO DO YOU SPEAK FRENCH

_(Sun 10:56pm)_

_Oui._

(Sun 10:56pm)

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_(Sun 10:57pm)_

_Tone it down brat you’re giving me a headache._

_(Sun 10:57pm)_

_With your capslock and shit._

__

(Sun 10:58pm)

I wonder how far you are

(Sun 10:58pm)

if you were close enough would you save me from this party

_(Sun 10:59pm)_

_I thought college kids were supposed to love parties_

_(Sun 10:59pm)_

_Or have you become self aware_

(Sun 11:00pm)

too much beer not enough mountain dew

(Sun 11:00pm)

my ex-girlfriend is here

_(Sun 11:01pm)_

_Mountain Dew is an energy drink disguised as a soda, and that’s the last fucking thing someone like you needs._

_(Sun 11:02pm)_

_Oh shit._

_(Sun 11:02pm)_

_Kill her. Problem solved._

(Sun 11:03pm)

she’s been avoiding me all night

(Sun 11:03pm)

she’s been eye fucking my sister the minute we showed up tho

_(Sun 11:05pm)_

_She’s avoiding you because she knows we’re planning her murder._

_(Sun 11:05pm)_

_That shit sounds painful._

_(Sun 11:06pm)_

_I mean literally fucking someone’s eye._

__

(Sun 11:06pm)

she used to eye fuck me

_(Sun 11:07pm)_

_Don’t do this to me I’m shitty with emotions_

_(Sun 11:07pm)_

_To hell with her, she sounds like a fucking asshole_

_(Sun 11:10pm)_

_Ah I’m bad at this_

__

(Sun 11:10pm)

hey Levi

_(Sun 11:10pm)_

_What_

(Sun 11:11pm)

make a wish

_(Sun 11:14pm)_

_I wish for you to stop scaring the shit out of me what the fuck was that_

__

(Sun 11:15pm)

;)

.

.

.

(Mon 1:02am)

tom yuch be ea r notnenoguh moutn dew

(Mon 1:11am)

mAKE  A WISH

(Mon 1:11am)

w ao t shit no wotrng time

(Mon 1:32am)

M Y BEST FRIEND JSUT THR W E UP ON MY HSHOES

(Mon 1:33am)

WHWR RE  IS  JENA

(Mon 1:33am)

WHW ER’E MA RCRO

(Mon 1:40am)

upd ate ht ey fwere fucking and amrin was lookgin for the m

(Mon 1:45am)

THEY’R’E GOING A TIT AGAIN QITH ARMIN

(Mon 1:46am)

you  ar eognna be so sore int hte morning bud dy

(Mon 2:09am)

a ma n goes to ppuek in the bathr omm and find s his ex and his ow n sis ter making out in the bathtub smH

(Mon 2:10am)

dindrnjep

.

.

.

**(Mon 7:50am)**   
**Rise and shine little man :D!!**

**(Mon 8:25am)**

**I’m guessing no morning Starbucks?**

**(Mon 8:30am)**

**I must admit I’m a little concerned (• ʜ • )**

**(Mon 8:55am)**

**WHERE ARE YOU**   
**(Mon 9:01am)**

**Rip**

_(Mon 10:30am)_

_Don’t be dramatic shitty glasses, I slept in late._

_(Mon 10:32am)_

_Fuck, Erwin’s gonna tear me a new fucking asshole I’m so late_

_(Mon 10:35am)_

_Your ass better still have coffee for me when I get there._

_(Mon 10:50am)_

_If you see our good ol’ boss Erwin tell him I’m coming._

__

**(Mon 10:52am)**

**I’m afraid your peppermint mocha has gone cold ( ˘ ³˘)❤**

.

.

.

(Mon 12:45pm)

I feel like something tried to chew my head off in my sleep call 911

_(Mon 1:03pm)_

_Does this have anything to do with all those wierd ass texts you sent me in the middle of the night._

(Mon 1:04pm)

maybe

_(Mon 1:04pm)_

_Mhm._

(Mon 1:04pm)

sorry

(Mon 1:04pm)

:(

_(Mon 1:07pm)_   
_It’s whatever._

_(Mon 1:07pm)_

_Do you even remember anything_

(Mon 1:08pm)

Armin owns me a new pair of shoes

(Mon 1:08pm)

I threw up on my ex and my sister

(Mon 1:08pm)

that may or may not have been an accident

_(Mon 1:09pm)_

_That’s absolutely disgusting._

_(Mon 1:09pm)_

_I’m impressed_

 


	2. November 22, 2014

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you saw this posted up last night it was all an illusion

**November 22, 2014**

Eren | _Levi_

(Sat 12:54pm)

hey :D

_(Sat 12:58pm)_

_I thought you died_

(Sat 1:00pm)

I did

(Sat 1:05pm)

I swerved off one freeway and fell onto another freeway and then got hit by one of those trucks with the tanks full of gas and then exploded

_(Sat 1:06pm)_

_Oh yeah I think I heard about that on the news_

(Sat 1:07pm)

it was a crazy couple of days but have no fear for I have returned from the dead to brighten your dreary days with my annoying but charming antics

_(Sat 1:08pm)_

_Crazy couple days huh_

_(Sat 1:08pm)_

_Any good stories to tell_

(Sat 1:10pm)

staying up all night, drinking 3 monsters at once, barely meeting deadlines

(Sat 1:10pm)

hella cray

_(Sat 1:11pm)_

_Wow what a rebel_

(Sat 1:12pm)

oh I’m sure it’s nothing compared to the wild life of a teacher/lawyer/unemployed writer/assassin/brony

_(Sat 1:13pm)_

_Of course, I’m a very busy man_

_(Sat 1:13pm)_

_No time to pander to procrastinating college kids_

(Sat 1:14pm)

what’s a very busy man like you gonna do on thanksgiving?

__

_(Sat 1:14pm)_

_Eat_

(Sat 1:15pm)

you think you’re so funny

(Sat 1:15pm)

OBVIOUSLY u eat but are u gonna do like a BIG thing or a small thing or a thing at all

_(Sat 1:16pm)_

_I’m not interested in many “things”_

_(Sat 1:16pm)_

_but stuffing I could get behind_

(Sat 1:17pm)

mmm not into familial gatherings I take it

_(Sat 1:19pm)_

_Hard to gather with what you don’t have_

.

.

.

(Sat 10:15pm)

hey I’m sorry

(Sat 10:15pm)

are you okay?

_(Sat 10:16pm)_

_Why wouldn’t I be_

__

.

.

.

(Tues 3:12pm)

sociology is cancelled today

__

_(Tues 3:16pm)_

_What do you want me to do about it_

(Tues 3:17pm)

wow ok who pissed in your cheerios

_(Tues 3:20pm)_

_I’m not here for you entertainment_

__

(Tues 3:21pm)

did you….. did you just quote p!nk

_(Tues 3:21pm)_

_You listen to P!nk_

__

(Tues 3:22pm)

ain’t no shame in my game I’ll rock out to raise your glass I don’t give a fuck

(Tues 3:22pm)

oK no but seriously what’s up

_(Tues 3:25pm)_

_Paperwork_

_(Tues 3:35pm)_

_I’m drowning in it_

__

(Tues 3:26pm)  
what kind of paperwork?~

_(Tues 3:26pm)_

_The kind you file_

(Tues 3:27pm)

why you gotta be so rude

(Tues 3:37pm)

don’t you know I’m human too

(Tues 3:37pm)

I’m gonna ask you again anyway

(Tues 3:38pm)

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NXnxTNIWkc>

_(Tues 3:40pm)_

_Somebody’s bored_

_(Tues 3:40pm)_

_Don’t you have any other friends_

(Tues 3:41pm)

“other”

(Tues 3:41pm)

why Levi

(Tues 3:41pm)

are you insinuating that we’re friends

(Tues 3:41pm)

pals

(Tues 3:42pm)

comrades

_(Tues 3:44pm)_

_Bye_

(Tues 3:44pm)

nO WAIT

(Tues 3:50pm)

come on man

(Tues 3:52pm)

if you can’t talk to the guy who lives in your phone then who can you talk to

(Tues 4:10pm)

Levi?

.

.

.

(Thu 12:13am)

hey

__

_(Thu 12:14am)_

_You don’t ever quit do you_

(Thu 12:15am)

nah

_(Thu 12:16am)_

_Isn’t it past your bedtime_

__

(Thu 12:16am)

shut up mom I’m 19 I do what I want

_(Thu 12:17am)_

_So you have a mommy kink_

(Thu 12:20am)

pPPDPTNGTNjdsnfe

(Thu 12:20am)

do you think aliens are real

_(Thu 12:21am)_

_Yeah I got abducted once_

(Thu 12:22am)

I knew there was something off about you

_(Thu 12:24am)_

_It’s true I’m actually being controlled by my mothership right now_

(Thu 12:25am)

free him

(Thu 12:25am)

bring him home

_(Thu 12:28am)_

_But actually there is the Drake equation, however it is deeply flawed as most of the values needed to actually solve it are estimates so large that it renders the equation useless. But I did read this article about NASA hypothising that they ‘should find signs of alien life by 2025’ so I guess we’ll see._

(Thu 12:30am)

man

(Thu 12:30am)

you’re a fucking nerd

_(Thu 12:32am)_

_Shut the fuck up_

(Thu 12:33am)

I dig it

_(Thu 12:34am)_

_So you’re into the sexy nerd thing_

(Thu 12:35am)

well if we’re being honest

(Thu 12:36am)

oh god

(Thu 12:36am)

I’m sorry

(Thu 12:36am)

jesus christ you’re like a dad what am I doing

_(Thu 12:37am)_

_I’m not a dad_

_(Thu 12:38am)_

_So you have a mommy AND daddy kink. What went wrong in your childhood_

(Thu 12:40am)

stick around and reach level 10 friend to unlock my tragic backstory

(Thu 12:41am)

NO SERIOUSLY I’m sorry I ju s t christ ok

(Thu 12:41am)

I know I tend to come off a certain way and I don’t mean to but you’re just really cool to talk to and god I don’t even know if you’re

(Thu 12:42am)

well

_(Thu 12:44am)_

_I’m what_

__

(Thu 12:46am)

y’ kn o w

_(Thu 12:46am)_

_I know nothing_

(Thu 12:47am)

asxfvgbhyuygrfedwefrgt

(Thu 12:48am)

I don’t even know if you’re like into dudes

(Thu 12:48am)

my point is I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable

_(Thu 12:51am)_

_Oh_

_(Thu 12:51am)_

_I’m not really into anyone_

_(Thu 12:51am)_

_Well maybe_

_(Thu 12:52am)_

_Ignore the last text_

__

(Thu 12:52am)

oh

(Thu 12:52am)

okay cool

.

.

.

(Thu 1:09am)

hey Levi?

_(Thu 1:11am)_

_I know, I know make a wish_

(Thu 1:11am)

close enough

.

.

.

_(Fri 1:21pm)_

_Hey_

_(Fri 1:21pm)_

_I got a cat_

(Fri 1:22pm)

well this is new

(Fri 1:22pm)

OH MY GOD IT’S BEAUTIFUL WHAT ARE YOU GONNA NAME IT

_(Fri 1:23pm)_

_Something cute, like Little Shit or Black Dynamite_

(Fri 1:23pm)

Black Dynamite sounds like someone I’d find on stage at a male strip club

__

_(Fri 1:24pm)_

_Who told you_

_(Fri 1:24pm)_

_Was it Hanji_

_(Fri 1:25pm)_

_Do you frequent male strip clubs_

(Fri 1:27pm)

I went to one once for that Jean guy’s birthday and the most appealing thing there were the 50 cent wings

(Fri 1:27pm)

too beefy. the dancers, not the wings. those were chicken

(Fri 1:28pm)  
also who is Hanji

_(Fri 1:29pm)_

_Too beefy_

_(Fri 1:29pm)_

_So you like twinks_

_(Fri 1:30pm)_

_My significant other_

(Fri 1:32pm)

all I’m saying is I didn’t deny being into sexy nerds

(Fri 1:33pm)

wait what oh my god I knew it you’re like married and this cat is your child I knew it all along

(Fri 1:33pm)

what are we

_(Fri 1:34pm)_

_Yeah the cat is my child. I gave birth to the cat. Surprise._

_(Fri 1:35pm)_

_Texting Acquiescents_

(Fri 1:35pm)

acquiescents

_(Fri 1:36pm)_

_*Aquaintances_

(Fri 1:37pm)

smooth

_(Fri 1:38pm)_   
_Help me name my cat_

_(Fri 1:38pm)_

_I’m thinking Cat_

_(Fri 1:38pm)_

_It’s short for Catherine_

(Fri 1:39pm)

idk man I was rather fond of Black Dynamite

_(Fri 1:41pm)_

_Of course you are_

_(Fri 1:41pm)_

_Well I have cat shit to take care of so thanks for bugging me_

_(Fri 1:42pm)_

_Bye_

.

.

.

_(Sat 4:12am)_

_I got a cat because I’m lonelh_

_(Sat 4:13am)_

_My only friends are hanji and some college kid who lives in my phone_

_(Sat 4:13am)_

_I’m namingnit black dynamite_

_(Sat 4:15am)_

_Not because you liked.it spfically_

_(Sat 4:15am)_

_ijust remembered I work tomorrow_

(Sat 4:27am)

woah hey man are you okay

(Sat 4:29am)

Levi?

_(Sat 4:31am)_

_Ignore me_

_(Sat 4:31am)_

_I fucked up_

_(Sat 4:31am)_

_I’m fine_

(Sat 4:32am)

that's bullshit

_(Sat 4:33am)_

_don’t talk to me like thatI’m your elder_

_(Sat 4:33am)_

_But not as much as you think_

_(Sat 4:33am)_

_You think I’m 30 and you’re still talking to.me_

_(Sat 4:34am)_

_Oh I get it_

_(Sat 4:34am)_

_Daddy issues_

(Sat 4:34am)

this isn’t aboUT ME

(Fri 4:34am)

wait how old are you then

_(Sat 4:35am)_

_2%_

_(Sat 4:35am)_

_25_

(Sat 4:36am)

are you drunk

_(Sat 4:38am)_

_Absolutely not_

_(Sat 4:38am)_

_I.work tokorrow stop texting me_

_(Sat 4:38am)_

_Goodbye_

(Sat 4:39am)

STOP DOING THAT

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha ok that took longer than expected but y'know school and what not
> 
> anyways, thanks sosososososo much to all you lovely folks hope you have a wonderful day/evening/night xoxoxo


	3. November 29th, 2014

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note from krissie: Thanks everyone for the kudos and comments, it means a lot to us and motivates us hella!! Also you can hit me or Melissa (aka Eren) up at roguearmin.tumblr and fuckboylevi.tumblr, respectively

November 29th, 2014

**  
**

Eren | _Levi_ | **Hanji**

**  
**

(Sat 1:04pm)

friends, hm?

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

(Sat 4:23pm)

I got one of those gas station hot dogs bc I'm broke af and I knew it was a bad idea but I did it anyway and I think I have a tapeworm send help

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

**(Sat 5:15pm)**

**Did you watch the new GOT?**

**  
**

_(Sat 5:17pm)_

_Too busy_

**  
**

**(Sat 5:18pm)**

**You can’t be that busy you didn’t even text that Eren guy back**

**  
**

_(Sat 5:18pm)_

_How the fuck do you know about him_

**  
**

**(Sat 5:19pm)**

**(✿≖‿≖)**

**  
**

_(Sat 5:19pm)_

_What the fuck did you do_

**  
**

**(Sat 5:20pm)**

**Always set a passcode (ﾟ∇^*)**

**  
**

_(Sat 5:22pm)_

_You’re a nosy, drama-addicted asshole who has no fucking boundaries. Delete my number._

_(Sat:5:22pm)_

_Okay, don’t, but I’m still fucking pissed._

**  
**

**(Sat 5:23pm)**

**Hehe. I’m sorry!! I really didn’t expect to find anything (• ε •)**

**(Sat 5:23pm)**

**But seriously, who is he? I don’t know many Erens with an E**

**  
**

_(Sat 5:24pm)_

_Why did you do it in the first place._

_(Sat 5:24pm)_

_Just some kid. We’ve never met._

**  
**

**(Sat 5:25pm)**

**Well you were taking forever picking out a movie and your phone was just RIGHT THERE and oh, I couldn’t help myself~**

**(Sat 5:26pm)**

**If you have his number you must’ve met him somehow?**

**(Sat 5:26pm)**

**Grindr is nothing to be ashamed of**

**  
**

_(Sat 5:27pm)_

_It was actually Seeking Arrangement_

_(Sat 5:27pm)_

_You owe me an apology for being a nosy fuck_

**  
**

**(Sat 5:28pm)**

**What’s the point in that when Erwin’s right there ★~(◠ω◕✿)**

**(Sat 5:28pm)**

**I already apologized!!**

**  
**

_(Sat 5:30pm)_

_Not all of us are interested in 6’2” manipulative slabs of meat, Hanji_

_(Sat 5:30pm)_

_Not meaningfully_

_(Sat 5:36pm)_

_He texted the wrong number and it spiraled out of control_

  


**(Sat 5:37pm)**

**Oooo~ So mysterious!**

**  
**

_(Sat 5:38pm)_

_Not much mystery, considering you've read every conversation we've had_

_(Sat 5:38pm)_

_Oh you mean_

_(Sat 5:38pm)_

_Nevermind_

_(Sat 5:39pm)_

_Not really. Eren reads like an open book._

__ **  
**

**(Sat 5:40pm)**

**Hm**

**(Sat 5:40pm)**

**Is he a good book?~**

**  
**

_(Sat 5:43pm)_

_He’s a casual read. It won’t last._

**  
**

**(Sat 5:44pm)**

**He’s kept your attention this long.**

**(Sat 5:44pm)**

**It seems he’s enjoying his audience, as well *:･ﾟ✧**

**  
**

_(Sat 5:47pm)_

_This conversation is over._

**  
**

**(Sat 5:48pm)**

**Wait! Me and Moblit are gonna go see a movie, wanna come with?**

**  
**

_(Sat 5:49pm)_

_No._

**  
**

**(Sat 5:50pm)**

**Okay~ Stay hydrated! Don’t sit around and be mopy! (◠ヮ◠)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧**

**(Sat 5:51pm)**

**Text that Eren guy back!**

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

(Sun 11:11am)

MAKE A WISH

(Sun 2:35pm)

I totally caught some weeb trying to steal a lanyard

(Sun 2:35pm)

they’re like $10 I don’t blame her

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

(Mon 3:23pm)

I didn’t get a tapeworm btw

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

(Tue 10:21pm)

where did you go

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

_(Wed 2:03am)_

_Why do you still talk to me_

**  
**

(Wed 2:16am)

maybe for the same reason you keep replying

(Wed 2:17am)

we’ve seen each other all sad and wasted

(Wed 2:17am)

it’s almost like we’ve bonded

**  
**

_(Wed 2:19am)_

_We don’t know anything about each other_

**  
**

(Wed 2:20am)

I know you’re a pencil pushing 25 year old cat owner who likes zebra cakes

**  
**

_(Wed 2:23am)_

_But you don’t know how I am_

_(Wed 2:23am)_

_Or what I look like_

_(Wed 2:23am)_

_So why do you keep texting me_

**  
**

(Wed 2:24am)

I like talking to you

(Wed 2:25am)

you’re just really easy to talk to and sometimes you’re just so funny I don’t even know if you’re real

(Wed 2:25am)

I don’t really make friends easily so it’s kinda cool talking to someone who isn’t Armin or my sister

**  
**

_(Wed 2:50am)_

_Hm_

_(Wed 2:50am)_

_Good enough_

**  
**

(Wed 2:51am)

WHAT

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

(Wed 1:15pm)

HEY SO I forgot to ask how your thanksgiving was??

(Wed 1:16pm)

HOW WAS YOUR THANKSGIVING

**  
**

_(Wed 1:18pm)_

_Uneventful_

**  
**

(Wed 1:19pm)

nothing? not even stuffing?

**  
**

_(Wed 1:23pm)_

_I went to my boss's house and he invited the entire fucking building so there was no stuffing by the time I got there_

_(Wed 1:24pm)_

_However my ex girlfriend was there with her new husband_

_(Wed 1:24pm)_

_Why are people getting married at 23 that's fucking ridiculous_

**  
**

(Wed 1:25pm)

me too buddy

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

(Wed 7:45pm)

can I vent

**  
**

_(Wed 7:46pm)_

_No_

**  
**

(Wed 8:12pm)

OKAY so fuck in g me my sister and bff Armin were having our nightly take out dinner like always bc we’re all fucking broke and if you thought I just forgot about the whole “caught my sister making out with my ex in a bathtub” thing you would be WRONG and you would also be MIKASA who is my sister btw anyway I haven’t made direct eye contact with her since and things around the apartment have been so fucking tense you could cut the air with your fuckign pinky finger bUT SHE ACTS LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED AND I THOUGHT maybe she just doesn’t remember she was pretty wasted but I couldn’t take it anymore so I brought it up and she was all “it was a one time thing eren” and I was like wow Mikasa should I get you a napkin bc that’s a lot of bULLSHIT COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH and we went back and forth for a while and she didn’t even look sorry and Armin was all “you guys :((“ and I got up and stormed off to my room and slammed the door like the cliche angsty teenager I am and I didn’t even get to finish my orange chicken

(Wed 8:13pm)

mostly I’m just mad because like that’s my sister what the fuck

**  
**

_(Wed 8:21pm)_

_Wait_

_(Wed 8:21pm)_

_Your sister’s name is Mikasa_

_(Wed 8:21pm)_

_Why is that familiar_

**  
**

(Wed 8:23pm)

she was named after some japanese battleship or something but that’s not the poinT

**  
**

_(Wed 8:25pm)_

_Hm_

_(Wed 8:25pm)_

_Where does she work_

_(Wed 8:27pm)_

_Okay, no, sorry, yeah, that’s so shitty of her. And what not._

_(Wed 8:32pm)_

_Hey_

_(Wed 8:33pm)_

_Sorry I've never been good at the whole feeling thing_

_(Wed 8:39pm)_

_But for what it's worth - and I don't know anything about your relationship with that bathtub bitch or your sister - you should probably give Micasa the benefit of the doubt. After all, she's your sister, and maybe there shouldn't be a stigma on 'you have to love your family' but you seem close enough if you have take out dinners all the time with her. People do stupid shit when they're drunk, and maybe she's allergic to confrontation especially with her own brother, so that's why she's brushing it off, that's what I'd do_

_(Wed 8:40pm)_

_Anyway just ride it out and she'll prove with actions whether or not she means what she said_

_(Wed 8:40pm)_

_But if shit goes wrong don't blame it on me_

__ **  
**

(Wed 9:01pm)

I don’t really know what to say other than thank you

(Wed 9:01pm)

also if shit goes wrong I’m blaming it on you

**  
**

_(Wed 9:02pm)_

_Sure_

_(Wed 9:03pm)_

_You okay_

_(Wed 9:03pm)_

_?_

**  
**

(Wed 9:04pm)

yeah yeah no I’m good

(Wed 9:04pm)

sorry about that

**  
**

_(Wed 9:05pm)_

_Don’t be_

_(Wed 9:05pm)_

_What are friends for_

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

(Thu 2:10pm)

you ever wonder if we’ve passed each other on the street and didn’t even know it

**  
**

_(Thu 2:11pm)_

_I haven’t thought about it_

_(Thu 2:11pm)_

_Did you ever pass somebody that gave off a dank, depressing aura_

**  
**

(Thu 2:12pm)

your aura smells like weed?

**  
**

_(Thu 2:13pm)_

_What are y_

_(Thu 2:13pm)_

_Oh my God_

**  
**

(Thu 2:14pm)

WHAT

**  
**

_(Thu 2:15pm)_

_Buy a dictionary_

**  
**

(Thu 2:15pm)

um I have a dictionary thank you very much it makes a wonderful doorstop

(Thu 2:16pm)

anyway

(Thu 2:16pm)

that’s assuming you don’t live across town or something

(Thu 2:16pm)

assuming we live in the same town

__ **  
**

_(Thu 2:17pm)_

_For all you know I just happen to have the same area code_

_(Thu 2:17pm)_

_I could’ve lived near you once and moved, people do it all the time_

**  
**

(Thu 2:18pm)

did you?

**  
**

_(Thu 2:19pm)_

_No_

**  
**

(Thu 2:19pm)

’s a pretty small town y’know

**  
**

_(Thu 2:20pm)_

_Not that small_

**  
**

(Thu 2:21pm)

oh come on

(Thu 2:21pm)

I must’ve passed you a thousand times

**  
**

_(Thu 2:22pm)_

_So what if you have, it doesn’t really make a difference_

**  
**

(Thu 2:24pm)

IT SO DOES

(Thu 2:24pm)

unless ur shy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**  
**

_(Thu 2:26pm)_

_Why would I be shy about some college kid who probably smells like too much Axe_

_(Thu 2:26pm)_

_on second thought we probably have run into each other_

**  
**

(Thu 2:26pm)

I’m offended but I’m not gonna sit here and deny truth

**  
**

_(Thu 2:27pm)_

_Disgusting_

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

.

**  
**

_(Thu 5:00pm)_

_I think my cat ran away_

**  
**

(Thu 5:01pm)

oh no who will watch mlp with u now

**  
**

_(Thu 5:10pm)_

_Never mind he just came back_

**  
**

(Thu 5:15pm)

he could be an imposter

**  
**

_(Thu 5:18pm)_

_Don’t you ever insult me like that again_

_(Thu 5:18pm)_

_Damn, can’t trust any cats these days_

_(Thu 5:19pm)_

_All those black ones look the same anyway_

__ **  
**

(Thu 5:20pm)

that’s racist

**  
**

_(Thu 5:21pm)_

_Literally how_

**  
**

(Thu 5:22pm)

I, as the brother of an actual not-white person, am personally offended

**  
**

_(Thu 5:23pm)_

_You’re not serious_

_(Thu 5:23pm)_

_You’re literally half wurst half baklava_

**  
**

(Thu 5:23pm)

well excuse me baguette

**  
**

_(Thu 5:28pm)_

_Wait back up_

_(Thu 5:28pm)_

_‘brother of actual not-white person’ Is she adopted_

**  
**

(Thu 5:29pm)

oH yeah she is

(Thu 5:29pm)

I’ve kinda known her like all my life?? it’s kind of complicated but yeah

**  
**

_(Thu 5:31pm)_

_Hm_

__ **  
**

(Thu 5:32pm)

you have a really obvious thinking tic

**  
**

_(Thu 5:33pm)_

_I was just thinking about how annoying you are_

**  
**

(Thu 5:34pm)

think of me often? ;)

**  
**

_(Thu 5:34pm)_

_Goodbye_

__ **  
**

(Thu 5:35pm)

nO WAIT  
  



	4. December 6th, 2014

**December 6th, 2014**

Eren | _Levi_

__

(Sat 11:05am)

he l p I’m dying

(Sat 11:05am)

we’re so bu s y

(Sat 11:05am)

I haven’t seen this many scene kids since 8th grade

(Sat 11:08am)

I can’t… go on…

(Sat 2:43pm)

FREE AT LAST

_(Sat 2:46pm)_

_Your work life sounds excruciating_

_(Sat 2:46pm)_

_Rest in peace_

(Sat 2:48pm)

I’m going to die in a sea of funko pop figures and band shirts

(Sat 2:49pm)

WHO’S EVEN LIKE merry christmas here’s a dunk dynasty figure

(Sat 2:50pm)

speaking of christmas

_(Sat 2:51pm)_

_No_

(Sat 2:52pm)

what are u doing for christmas

_(Sat 2:55pm)_

_Actually, I’m doing something for my kids_

_(Sat 2:56pm)_

_And begrudgingly celebrating my birthday with Hanji_

(Sat 2:56pm)

is your birthday on christmas omg

(Sat 2:56pm)

wai t kiDS

(Sat 2:57pm)

do you hAVE KIDS

_(Sat 2:59pm)_

_Yes_

_(Sat 2:59pm)_

_Calm down, I meant the kids I work with_

__

(Sat 3:01pm)

?? daycare??

_(Sat 3:02pm)_

_No_

(Sat 3:03pm)

??? teacher???

_(Sat 3:04pm)_

_No_

(Sat 3:05pm)

do you train small children to be assassins

(Sat 3:05pm)

are you that guy from spy kids

_(Sat 3:06pm)_

_I'm under legal obligation not to disclose that information_

(Sat 3:07pm)

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iaR3WO71j4>

_(Sat 3:10pm)_

_Call me Bond_

_(Sat 3:10pm)_

_Levi Bond_

(Sat 3:11pm)

what do spies and mini spies do for christmas anyway

_(Sat 3:13pm)_

_A toy drive_

__

(Sat 3:14pm)

oh holy shit that’s so cute

_(Sat 3:16pm)_

_Shut up_

__

(Sat 3:17pm)

I just found your soft nougaty center and it’S SO CUTE

__

_(Sat 3:18pm)_

_Bye_

.

.

.

****  
  


(Tues 7:02pm)

Leeevi

_(Tues 7:10pm)_

_Go away I’m watching Cutthroat Kitchen_

(Tues 7:10pm)

but I’m bored

_(Tues 7:15pm)_

_Do your homework_

(Tues 7:16pm)

but I’m in class

_(Tues 7:17pm)_

_Why the fuck are you texting me in class, pay attention_

(Tues 7:18pm)

fuckhead Jean didn’t come to class today so I’m alone and bored

(Tues 7:18pm)

not that I enjoy his company

(Tues 7:18pm)

it’s sociology, all we do is talk about the reading and cry

_(Tues 7:20pm)_

_You sure bring up this Jean character a lot_

__

(Tues 7:21pm)

he’s in my life a lot

(Tues 7:21pm)

wait n  o that did n’t come out right

__

_(Tues 7:22pm)_

_Interesting_

(Tues 7:23pm)

no shut up

_(Tues 7:24pm)_

_Are you embarrassed_

_(Tues 7:24pm)_

_Oh, you have a thing for Jean_

(Tues 7:26pm)

that’s SO disrespectful I can’t believe you would think so low of me I thought we were friends

(Tues 7:26pm)

play 20 questions with me

_(Tues 7:27pm)_

_Okay_

_(Tues 7:27pm)_

_Question 1: Do you or have you ever had a schoolboy crush on Jean_

__

(Tues 7:28pm)

oh my god NO he’s kind of like my best friend but I also hate him

(Tues 7:29pm)

we made out one time at some party but that’s not fair because everyone’s made out with Jean

(Tues 7:29pm)

Q1: who’s this Hanji person

_(Tues 7:31pm)_

_Mhm_

_(Tues 7:31pm)_

_Kind of like my best friend but I also hate them_

_(Tues 7:32pm)_

_Question 2: What are you majoring in_

(Tues 7:35pm)

originally engineering but I switched to film

(Tues 7:35pm)

Q2: what kind of music do you like

_(Tues 7:36pm)_

_That’s a big difference_

_(Tues 7:37pm)_

_Muse_

_(Tues 7:37pm)_

_Question 3: Do you like Muse_

(Tues 7:40pm)

oh dude I love you

(Tues 7:40pm)

**MUSE

_(Tues 7:42pm)_

_Whoa there, you haven’t even taken me out to dinner_

_(Tues 7:43pm)_

_Ask your question_

(Tues 7:46pm)

Q3: what’s your fave restaurant

_(Tues 7:49pm)_

_Olive Garden_

_(Tues 7:49pm)_

_Question 4: Why_

(Tues 7:50pm)

I wanted to know

(Tues 7:50pm)

Q4: what’s your fave movie

_(Tues 7:51pm)_

_Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, but I’m also partial to Shrek 2_

_(Tues 7:51pm)_

_Question 5: Why aren’t you paying attention to your class_

(Tues 8:00pm)

I have the world biggest headache and I’m just not havin it

(Tues 8:00pm)

Q5: marvel or dc

__

_(Tues 8:02pm)_

_Marvel_

_(Tues 8:03pm)_

_Q6: If you bought your cat unfixed, do you think it’s okay to let it go outside and risk getting knocked up_

(Tues 8:04pm)

I think you should have the birds and bees talk with Black Dynamite

(Tue 8:04pm)

Q6: will be asked right after a word from our sponsors

.

.

.

****  
  


(Wed 1:34pm)

\--INCOMING CALL--

“Nonononono, yeah! That’s what I said, I was like-.... who, Annie?... yeah, but whatever, I guess… wait, get me some napkins!”

__

_“Hello?”_

“-up with you and the undercut duo?... Ow!... just messin’ with ya, Ar… but if there’s anything you need to tell m-”

_“...”_

“Stop throwing fries at me, they’re sharp!... Yeah! I saw this one thing where this guy-... he had to go to the hospital and everything!... never trust McDonald’s.”

_“Eren.”_

“That’s why we’re at Carl’s Jr.”

\--CALL ENDED--

.

.

.

(Wed 2:02pm)

whoops

_(Wed 2:05pm)_

_What_

(Wed 2:06pm)

you know what

_(Wed 2:07pm)_

_I assure you I don’t_

(Wed 2:09pm)

you make everything so difficult

(Wed 2:09pm)

sorry I buttdialed you

_(Wed 2:11pm)_

_Oh_

_(Wed 2:11pm)_

_It's okay I didn't hear any top secret information about your life_

_(Wed 2:13pm)_

_It's 2014 how did you manage to butt dial me anyway_

(Wed 2:16pm)

phone didn’t lock…. touch screen in pocket…. shit happens

__

_(Wed 2:17pm)_

_You’re lucky it was me and not 911 or something_

(Wed 2:19pm)

god forbid 911 take my french fry situation as an actual emergency

(Wed 2:20pm)

wait what did you hear anyway

_(Wed 2:21pm)_

_Annie_

_(Wed 2:21pm)_

_Somebody named Ar tried to maul you with french fries_

_(Wed 2:21pm)_

_Carl’s Jr_

(Wed 2:23pm)

Ar is just what I call Armin, who did in fact maul me with french fries

(Wed 2:24pm)

oh my god you totally know what I sound like now holy shit

_(Wed 2:25pm)_

_Huh I do_

_(Wed 2:25pm)_

_You sound exactly like what I thought you would_

(Wed 2:26pm)

is that a good thing or a bad thing

_(Wed 2:27pm)_

_Its not really any thing_

_(Wed 2:28pm)_

_Just means your voice cracks as much as I thought it would_

__

(Wed 2:30pm)

liste n

(Wed 2:31pm)

this is hardly fair

_(Wed 2:33pm)_

_What’s unfair about it_

__

(Wed 2:35pm)

I think it’s only fair if HEAR ME OUT if I hear your voice and compare it to my expectations

_(Wed 2:45pm)_

_Oh_

_(Wed 2:46pm)_

_I mean_

_(Wed 2:48pm)_

_You could call me any time you want_

_(Wed 2:28pm)_

_Well not during the weekdays from the standard 9-5_

(Wed 2:30pm)

how about now

(Wed 2:30pm)

IF YOU’RE NOT LIKE busy or something

_(Wed 2:33pm)_

_Sorry, I can't fit you into my extremely busy schedule_

_(Wed 2:33pm)_

_Im kidding, now is fine, I’m on my lunch break_

_(Wed 2:33pm)_

_If you want, anyway_

.

.

.

(Wed 2:34pm)

\--INCOMING CALL--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I can't believe how many kudos this thing has waht the fuc k thank you oh my god???"  
> -both me and krissie tbh
> 
> ngl guys this chapter got me so fucked up do u ever cry over ereri


	5. December 10th, 2014

**December 10th 2014**

Eren | _Levi_ |  Armin

(Wed 2:34pm)

\--INCOMING CALL--

_“Hello?”_

“Hey.”

“ _... So how are you.”_

__

“I’m. I-um. I’m good. You?”

_“Work has me stressed the fuck out but I’m hanging tough.”_

“Running an entire organization of tiny assassins sounds tiring but I’m sure you’re doing a fantastic job.”

_“Heh, if only my job was that cool - Oi, Hanji, shut up I’m on the phone - it’s - hang on -”_

“... Levi?”

_“Sorry, ignore that. Anyway.”_

“Was that the legendary Irvin come to swoop you away from me?”

_“That was extremely flirtatious, but no, it was Hanji. Also his name is Erwin. Not that it matters.”_

“Haha, woops!”

__

_“... It’s fine.”_

“So… what’re you having for lunch?”

_"The most disgusting turkey sandwich I've ever had in my life. Actually, I'm considering throwing it away but I don't wanna waste the money."_

“Mmm, never go with turkey. Roast beef’s the way to go.”

_“Hm, thanks, I’ll consider that next time I get a sandwich from a vending machine. So… to the point of this entire phone call - did my voice match your expectations or what_.”

“A little, yeah. You kinda sound like a robot, but like, in a good way.”

_“Wow, thanks.”_

“See, that’s what I mean! You’re just so monotone!”

_"This is the voice God gave me to preach His word with."_

__

“Uh.”

_“I’m kidding.”_

“Pfft, obviously?”

_“Mhm.”_

“Question 6.”

_“Oh no.”_

“Are you sure you’re not a teacher?”

_“Absolutely.”_

“Pediatrician?”

_“Nothing that fancy.”_

“Fucking oh my God.”

_"Better luck next time, kid. Speaking of my job I have to get back to it so . . ."_

“Waitwaitwait! Orphanage?”

_“Warmer. Goodbye, Eren.”_

“YOOOO-”

\--CALL ENDED--

.

.

.

(Wed 2:38pm)

we should do that again sometime

.

.

.

(Wed 3:00pm)

help

(Wed 3:01pm)

Did you get your hand stuck in a toaster again?

(Wed 3:02pm)

you know that guy who lives in my phone

(Wed 3:03pm)

???

(Wed 3:03pm)

That guy who you accidently texted when you were trying to get ahold of Jean?

(Wed 3:03pm)

Which, btw you could’ve asked me

(Wed 3:04pm)

What about him?

**  
**

(Wed 3:05pm)

yeaH that guy

(Wed 3:05pm)

I talked to him Armin and oh my god

(Wed 3:06pm)

Oh wow!

(Wed 3:06pm)

How did that go! :0

(Wed 3:07pm)

he sounds like a robot

(Wed 3:07pm)

it’s beautiful

(Wed 3:08pm)

Ooh~

(Wed 3:08pm)

What does this mean? :3c

(Wed 3:09pm)

it means I’m boned

(Wed 3:09pm)

it means if he looks anything like he sounds I’m double boned

(Wed 3:10pm)

When are you gonna meet!!

(Wed 3:11pm)

in my dreams, hopefully

(Wed 3:12pm)

Eren I’m serious! ><

(Wed 3:13pm)

SO AM I

(Wed 3:14pm)

I mean it Eren! It’s nice that you have somebody to talk to :) Just think about meeting up with him

(Wed 3:15pm)

Unless you’re still feeling weird about Annie…

(Wed 3:17pm)

what does Annie have to do with this

(Wed 3:18pm)

Nothing, nothing

(Wed 3:19pm)

Just that it wasn’t long ago that you broke up, and I know how sentimental you are. Plus the Mikasa thing

(Wed 3:19pm)

:)

(Wed 3:20pm)

I JUST

(Wed 3:22pm)

I don’t even know him

(Wed 3:22pm)

but I want to

.

.

.

_(Wed 6:01pm)_

_I caught another cat brutally fucking Black Dynamite_

_(Wed 6:01pm)_

_Is there such a thing as the morning after pill for cats_

__

(Wed 6:02pm)

wait i thought black dynamite was a dude??

_(Wed 6:03pm)_

_I never bothered to check, but considering she just got wrecked by a stray calico I'm gonna say no_

(Wed 6:04pm)

at least someone’s getting laid

_(Wed 6:05pm)_

_You’re jealous of a cat_

__

(Wed 6:06pm)

cats don’t have a concept of time, Levi

__

_(Wed 6:08pm)_

_What does that even mean_

(Wed 6:09pm)

I don’t know

__

_(Wed 6:10pm)_

_Are you okay, you seem off_

_(Wed 6:10pm)_

_Well, you're generally 'off' but more so today_

(Wed 6:12pm)

sorry I’m jus t in a bad mood

_(Wed 6:13pm)_

_Makes sense_

_(Wed 6:13pm)_

_Do you want to talk it out_

_(Wed 6:14pm)_

_I know I’m not the world’s greatest therapist, but you once said ‘if you can’t talk to the guy who lives in your phone, who can you talk to’_

(Wed 6:15pm)

I can’t BELIEVE you sometimes

(Wed 6:18pm)

it’s not really anything in particular, I’m just feelin kinda shitty today

__

_(Wed 6:19pm)_

_As someone who was born a pessimist, I can tell you're not really that pessimistic of a guy to be in a bad mood for no reason. Who pissed you off_

(Wed 6:21pm)

Armin and I were talking about s t uff and he brought up Annie and I’m just mad at myself for still being mad

_(Wed 6:23pm)_

_Oh yeah, the bathtub bitch_

_(Wed 6:23pm)_

_Why are you mad in the first place, is it the making out with your sister thing_

(Wed 6:24pm)

I think I’m replacing the sad with the mad

(Wed 6:25pm)

which is good, I guess

(Wed 6:25pm)

maybe I’m getting over it

__

_(Wed 6:26pm)_

_That doesn't really answer the question, though_

_(Wed 6:27pm)_

_I'm not trying to push you or anything, it's just that I always tell the kids I work with that it's better to scream and hit a pillow than keep it in_

_(Wed 6:27pm)_

_Or, well in your case, scream via text_

_(Wed 6:28pm)_

_Either way it's hypocritical of me but whatever_

(Wed 6:29pm)

nobody pissed me off

__

_(Wed 6:31pm)_   
_I meant the mad in the first place one but you obviously don’t want to talk about it so I’ll let you go until you simmer down_

_(Wed 6:35pm)_

_Sorry, I’m not trying to sound like an asshole or anything_

__

(Wed 6:37pm)

NO no you don’t sound like an asshole

(Wed 6:37pm)

you’re trying to help me out and I’m just being a pissbaby and I probably annoy you and I’m sorry

__

_(Wed 6:38pm)_   
_You don’t ever annoy me_

__

.

.

.

_(Thurs 7:00am)_

_Are you feeling any better_

(Thurs 7:03am)

yeah, actually

(Thurs 7:03am)

just had to sleep it off I guess

_(Thurs 7:04am)_

_You still sound bummed out_

_(Thurs 7:04am)_

_Is that what the kids are calling it these days_

_(Thurs 7:05am)_

_Just relax, watch some shitty reality TV show about shores in Jersey, you’ll be okay_

_(Thurs 7:05am)_

_My personal favourite is Rupaul’s Drag Race, but to each their own_

(Thurs 7:07am)

I fuCKing love rupaul

_(Thurs 7:08am)_

_Damn straight_

__

(Thurs 7:10am)

are you a drag queen

_(Thurs 7:11am)_

_In another life_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again to all u cuties who commented/kudos'd/whatever ilysm and i hope u get everything you want in life!! (/^-^)/


	6. December 13th, 2014

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYO just btw fyi it goes back and forth from eren and levi to eren and armin

**December 13th, 2014**

Eren | _Levi_ |  Armin

_(Sat 1:12pm)_

_Question 6 - Why did you change your major to film_

(Sat 1:13pm)

I really liked engineering but there was way too much math involved for my taste

_(Sat 1:14pm)_

_But it's such a big leap, there has to be something more to it_

_(Sat 1:14pm)_

_I mean you're not obligated to have a 'calling' or anything_

(Sat 1:15pm)

I just really don’t like ma t h

(Sat 1:16pm)

Q7: so about this toy drive and this... “hanji”... and christmas… what are you doing... exactly…

(Sat 1:16pm)

…?

_(Sat 1:17pm)_

_Oh my God, you are so obviously jealous you're not even trying to hide it anymore_

_(Sat 1:18pm)_

_Hanji and I are just friends, please, their boyfriend Moblit might look like a harmless pup but he's vicious when it comes to them_

_(Sat 1:18pm)_

_I commend him_

(Sat 1:26pm)

I don’t know what you’re talking about?? why would I be jealous?? I’m just trying to take an interest in the things that are important to you?? because we’re bros???

_(Sat 1:27pm)_

_Bros, huh_

_(Sat 1:27pm)_

_Question 7: What are you doing for Christmas_

(Sat 1:28pm)

someone cute, hopefully

_(Sat 1:29pm)_

_Jesus Christ_

_(Sat 1:29pm)_

_That’s not a suggestion, by the way_

(Sat 1:30pm)

forgive me father for I am going to sin

_(Sat 1:31pm)_

_(Sat 1:32pm)_

_Wait, on second thought don’t go anywhere near a church_

(Sat 1:33pm)

why is your font so loopy

_(Sat 1:34pm)_

_Hanji changed it and I have no idea how to get it back to normal_

 

(Sat 1:35pm)

well clearly you know how to use google

_(Sat 1:36pm)_

_You act like I’m 80 years old and I just performed a miracle by knowing how to use Google_

__

(Sat 1:37pm)

YOU’RE SO OFFENDED

_(Sat 1:38pm)_

_Using Google and phone settings are too entirely different ballgames, I don’t need your inflated ego getting your rocks off at this_

_(Sat 1:39pm)_

_I didn’t have that much interaction with technology until I was an adult_

(Sat 1:40pm)

wait what do you mean you’re only like 25

_(Sat 1:42pm)_

_Couldn’t ever really afford that shit_

(Sat 1:45pm)

oh

_(Sat 1:46pm)_

_Don’t sweat it_

.

.

.

_(Mon 6:12pm)_

_Yo, I went by a frozen yogurt place today and met somebody named Armin. I didn’t think Armin was that common of a name so I was gonna ask if that was your Armin._

_(Mon 6:12pm)_

_Like, your friend Armin_

(Mon 6:14pm)

HOLY SHIT

.

.

.

(Mon 6:14pm)

ARE YOU STILL AT WORK

(Mon 6:14pm)

WHERE ARE YOU

(Mon 6:14pm)

THIS IS IMRPTNAT

(Mon 6:15pm)

DID YOU HAPPEN TO COME ACROSS SOMEONE WHO’S AURA SMELLED LIKE WEED

(Mon 6:20pm)

No, Jean just picked me up, why?

(Mon 6:20pm)

I work in a frozen yogurt shop, I come across auras that smell like weed on a daily basis

(Mon 6:22pm)

What’s going on?

(Mon 6:23pm)

LEVI SAYs hE WENT TO A FROYO SHOP and met an ARMIN and you are only Armin on the f cu kgin pla n et and I’m gonna fucking hurl holy sh it

(Mon 6:25pm)

Whoa, calm down!

(Mon 6:25pm)

This is kind of exciting!! (・∀・ )

(Mon 6:26pm)

What does he look like, maybe I saw him?

.

.

.

(Mon 6:27pm)

y’know it’s not until just this moment that I realize I’ve set Black Dynamite as my immediate mental image for you and it’d be pretty sweet if I knew what you looked like

_(Mon 6:29pm)_

_I look exactly like Black Dynamite, we’re practically twins. How did you guess_

_(Mon 6:30pm)_

_Why are you asking me this, is the more immediate question_

(Mon 6:31pm)

maybe I’m curious

_(Mon 6:33pm)_

_Well_

_(Mon 6:33pm)_

_Alright_

_(Mon 6:33pm)_

_I’m 5’3” and I have hair_

(Mon 6:34pm)

I’m like an entire head taller than you this is amazing

(Mon 6:34pm)

NO but seriously

(Mon 6:35pm)

but also you don’t have to if u don’t want to I don’t wana y’know force you to do something ur not comfortable with WHICH I GET so is cool

_(Mon 6:37pm)_

_To be fair, that's not hard to do_

_(Mon 6:37pm)_

_No, it's fine, it's just . . . awkward_

_(Mon 6:38pm)_

_Hanji says I'm a 5'3" vaguely goth pale guy with a permanent scowl and dark hair_

_(Mon 6:38pm)_

_Not like gross greasy goth hair, though, it's a stylish undercut, thanks very much_

(Mon 6:39pm)

nice

.

.

.

(Mon 6:39pm)

he says he’s 5’3” congrats we found someone who’s shorter than u lmao

(Mon 6:39pm)

he’s says he’s vaguely goth with an UNDERCUT Armin do you remember this man

(Mon 6:40pm)

Hm, I think I might…

(Mon 6:41pm)

no pls I’m sorry I called you short

(Mon 6:42pm)

Okay, okay, I do remember, yes

(Mon 6:42pm)

Oh, you poor thing

(Mon 6:43pm)

He’s exactly your type

.

.

.

_(Mon 6:43pm)_

_Well, this is hardly fair_

(Mon 6:44pm)

?? what do you mean

_(Mon 6:45pm)_

_It’s only fair if you describe yourself and I compare it to my expectations_

__

(Mon 6:46pm)

jwnfuesdvbirw

(Mon 6:48pm)

?? I’m like 5’7” I have brown eyes and green hair and I’ve been told I look like a Warped Tour reject

(Mon 6:48pm)

GREEN EYES AND BROWN HAIR

_(Mon 6:49pm)_

_Ah, I knew I sensed the scene kid in you_

(Mon 6:50pm)

middle school was a dark time but I've grown since then I swear

_(Mon 6:51pm)_

_Who are you trying to impress_

.

.

.

( Mon 6:52pm)

I feel like I should tell you that the man I saw who fits Levi's description had a kid with him :o

**  
**

(Mon 6:53pm)

oh no what a tragedy

(Mon 6:54pm)

Eren >:(

(Mon 6:55pm)

idk if I'm ballsy enough to go for a dad whatever will I do

(Mon 6:56pm)

I’M KIDDING he works with kids I’m not too worried about it

(Mon 6:56pm)

yo are you gonna eat at jean valjean’s place or should I tell Mikasa to set up three plates

(Mon 6:57pm)

Have her set up four, Jean's having dinner with us

(Mon 6:57pm)

That's adorable（ ´∀｀)

(Mon 6:58pm)

But if Levi's coming to the frozen yogurt shop, that must mean he works or lives close by, right? Which means you two could definitely meet up!!!

**  
**

(Mon 7:00pm)

maybe

.

.

.

(Mon 7:00pm)

you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys =w= I just wanted to let you know that all of your comments are uNBELIEVABLY APPRECIATED and Krissie and I read every single one of them even tho we don't reply and that's usually bc we either just don't know what to say or we don't wanna give away any spoilery stuff u feel but we love the shit out of you guys ok? ok have a nice day ilysm!! xoxo


	7. December 22nd, 2014

**December 22nd, 2014**

Eren | _Levi_ |  Armin

(Mon 4:03pm)

Eren, you can’t keep just hanging out at the froyo shop, the customers are suspicious >:(

(Mon 4:03pm)

It was okay until people starting asking if they should be concerned about the “boy in the hoodie scoping out the place”

**  
**

(Mon 4:05pm)  
am I that greasy looking

(Mon 4:06pm)   
the bangs make you seem shady =w=

~~**  
**~~

(Mon 4:07pm)

remind me to get a haircut at some point

(Mon 4:07pm)

what if he likes long hair

(Mon 4:08pm)

IM KIDDING

(Mon 4:09pm)

No you're not

(Mon 4:10pm)

I don’t know why you don’t just ask him to meet up with you there! Just waiting like that is a little ... sad :(

(Mon 4:12pm)

ugh but like he’s an ADULT like he’s probably too busy and even if he's not he probably doesn't even want to see me bc why would he i'm just some random dude in his phone

(Mon 4:13pm)

So you're just gonna sit around and hope he shows up to the place he so happened to stop into once?

(Mon 4:14pm)

it’s a legitimate strategy

(Mon 4:15pm)

Hm, let me know how that works out for you

.

 

.

 

.

\--INCOMING CALL--

_“Eren?”_

  
“Hey!”  


_“You scared the shit out of me, I thought there was some kind of emergency-”_    


“Sorry! I just - we got out of class early and I didn’t drive here so I’m kind of stuck. Figured I’d bug you for a bit.”  


_“Oh. Well in that case, jabber away.”_    


“Eh, there’s not much going on on my end. I went to the movies the other day and I forgot my ID. Jean Valjean happened to be on duty and almost didn’t let me buy my ticket because I couldve been ‘like 12 or something.”  
  


_“Haha-”_

  
“ . . . Did you just snort?”  
  


_“Absolutely not.”_  


“So what about you, hm? What’s goin’ on?”  
  


_“Nothing important. I was just watching America’s Next Top Model when you called.”_  


“Oh my God.”  


_“What.”_  


“Nothing, nothing.”  


_"Hm. Well, there's this one bitch on here who's fake as fuck. She tries to act like she cares about this other girl who got sick but she's so full of shit she's a walking port-a-potty."_  


“Oh shit, I think I know who you’re talking about. The girl with that early 2000s R&B singer vibe, right? Gazelle or something?”  


_“. . .”_  


“. . . Levi?”  


_“Yeah, no, sorry, I just didn’t peg you as the America’s Next Top Model type. Also, it’s Giselle.”_  


“Neither did I. Mikasa used to watch it a lot and I would vaguely pay attention to it but then an all weekend marathon happened and, well.”  


_“You poor, lost soul.”_  


“At least I’ve got you.”  


_“. . .”_  


“I- uh- mm. So, anyways. Christmas. Is a thing.”  


_“Unfortunately, yes it is.”_  


“So is your birthday. Not, unfortunate- I mean- oh my god.”  


_“Eh, I'm one of those cliche anti-birthday people. Mostly because it's literally on Christmas. I get Jew'd every year. Which may have something to do with the fact that I am Jewish."_  


“Whoa, really?”  


_“Yeah. Send thanks to my mom.”_  


“Thanks mom. That’s cool, though. Can I… ask you something?”  


_“Su- uh, sure.”_  


“So do you like- well, ‘cause you said you were doing the toy drive thing and I’m wondering if you celebrate Hanukkah? If you do, can you also celebrate Christmas? Or is that like against the rules or whatever?”  


_“I don’t really practice. It’s kind of a habitual culture thing. Y’know, kosher.”_  


“Ah, I get you.”  


_“Yeah.”_  


“. . .”

_“. . .”_  


“Can I ask you something else?”  


_“. . . Go ahead.”_  


“Do you… think… that…. cows can feel hate?”  


_“I’m hanging up.”_  


“Haha, wait-”

\--CALL ENDED--

.

.

.

_(Tues 1:14am)_

_Yo, you up?_

 

(Tues 1:17am)

y a whats up?

_(Tues 1:18am)_

_Nothing._

_(Tues 1:18am)_

_Trying to sleep, but it's not happening._

(Tues 1:19am)

wanna keep me company while I try to find my way out of the water temple

_(Tues 1:20am)_

_Sure._

_(Tues 1:21am)_

_<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ1L0ZhzGqo> Good luck_

(Tues 1:23am)

thanks ur my hero

(Tues 1:24am)

what would I do without u

__

_(Tues 1:25am)_

_Crash and burn_

(Tues 1:27am)

what are you doing awake anyway

(Tues 1:27am)

we don’t usually talk this late

(Tues 1:27am)

not on a tueday anyway

_(Tues 1:28am)_

_Chronic insomnia_

_(Tues 1:28am)_

_Also it’s fucking freezing in my apartment, even drama queen Black Dynamite is pressed up against my back_

_(Tues 1:29am)_

_It’s starting to hurt_

__

(Tues 1:31am)

aww she just likes you

(Tues 1:31am)

cozy up you can’t freeze to death before I meet you

_(Tues 1:32am)_

_What makes you so sure you’re gonna meet me_

 

(Tues 1:34am)

my determination is one of my best qualities?

_(Tues 1:35am)_

_More like persistence_

(Tues 1:36am)

tomato tomahto

_(Tues 1:37am)_

_Tomatoes are the devil’s fruit_

(Tues 1:38am)

they’re not all bad, without tomatoes we wouldn’t have pizza ((come get pizza with me))

(Tues 1:39am)

not right now tho

(Tues 2:06am)

oR NOT

.

.

.

__

_(Tues 8:10am)_

_I fell asleep_

.

.

.

(Tues 10:34am)

it’s cool

.

.

.

_(Tues 3:00pm)_

_Listen_

_(Tues 3:01pm)_

_Christmas isn’t a really good time_

_(Tues 3:05pm)_

_Sorry_

_(Tues 3:08pm)_

_I have all these kids to take care of for the holidays and I’m in over my head_

_(Tues 3:10pm)_

_Maybe after the New Year_

(Tues 3:14pm)

shit I’m sorry

(Tues 3:15pm)

sometimes I just

(Tues 3:15pm)

nevermind

(Tues 3:16pm)

you okay?

_(Tues 3:18pm)_

_It’s okay_

_(Tues 3:18pm)_

_I’m fine_

_(Tues 3:21pm)_

_Just what?_

(Tues 3:22pm)

I don’t know

(Tues 3:22pm)

sometimes I forget there’s more to you than just being the dude in my phone

__

_(Tues 3:23pm)_

_I see_

__

(Tues 3:24pm)

Mikasa says I grew up with an irrational sense of entitlement

_(Tues 3:25pm)_

_Did you now_

(Tues 3:28pm)

ok so it’s not exactly the whole “living in my phone” thing

_(Tues 3:29pm)_

_Mhm_

(Tues 3:30pm)

listen

(Tues 3:32pm)

fucking I don’t know man I wanna kick it ‘cause you seem really cool but at the same time I know that you probably don’t and that’s literally so ok I’m just too extroverted for my own good and I’m just really really sorry for making you uncomfortable a g a in

_(Tues 3:33pm)_

_It’s not about that_

(Tues 3:34pm)

oh

(Tues 3:34pm)

then what’s it about

_(Tues 3:36pm)_

_Nothing important_

_(Tues 3:36pm)_

_Just try to treat me like a person and not some random phone number, yeah_

_(Tues 3:37pm)_

_Especially if you want to up the ante on this whole ‘friends’ thing_

(Tues 3:38pm)

I don’t think you’re just a random phone number

(Tues 3:39pm)

that’s not what I meant

(Tues 3:39pm)

it was a shitty choice of words and I’m sorry

_(Tues 3:40pm)_

_It’s okay_

_(Tues 3:40pm)_

_I’m not mad_

(Tues 3:41pm)

you seem mad

_(Tues 3:42pm)_

_I’m not_

(Tues 3:44pm)

okay

(Tues 3:44pm)

I’m sorry

(Tues 3:47pm)

are we okay

_(Tues 3:48pm)_

_Yes_

.

.

.

_(Tues 8:20pm)_

_Hey, by the way_

(Tues 8:20pm)

??

_(Tues 8:21pm)_

_There’s something you should know about me_

_(Tues 8:21pm)_

_I’m not who you think I am_

(Tues 8:22pm)

what do you mean?

_(Tues 8:23pm)_

_I’m not actually French_

_(Tues 8:23pm)_

_I’m French Canadian_

(Tues 8:24pm)

wha t the fu C CK

_(Tues 8:25pm)_

_I know, it’s a lot to take in_

(Tues 8:26pm)

I thought I could trust u

_(Tues 8:27pm)_

_I’m unpredictable_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, thank you once again to everyone who kudos'd and esp. left comments! As you know, Melissa (aka the fab one behind Eren's dialogue) and I aren't exactly in the habit of replying to comments but we promise you we share them with each other and cry together all the time? We love all of you and you keep us hella motivated!!! Sorry if updates slow down a bit, as I've just started school and a new job so my schedule's a bit all over the place?? Have mercy on my young soul. But know that we love you all xoxo. (Also feel free to draw fanart for this fic??)  
> -Krissie


	8. December 24th, 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the eggnog is not non-alcoholic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're wondering why it's wednesday again it's because I messed up the dates in like every way possible but it's ok because everybody makes mistakes everybody has those days (and krissie fixed it) okokok pls enjoy <3  
> -M

**December 24th, 2014**

Eren | _Levi_ | **Hanji**

(Wed 11:55pm)

fiVE MORE MINUTES

_(Wed 11:56pm)_

_Oh God_

__

(Wed 11:57pm)

!! THREE MNIUTES !!

_(Wed 11:58pm)_

_Stop_

_(Wed 11:58pm)_

_Go to bed or Santa Claus won't come_

(Thurs 12:00am)

!!! ~*MERRY CHRISTMAS LEVI*~!!!

(Thurs 12:00am)

 

_(Thurs 12:02am)_

_Thank you, Steven_

.

.

.

_(Thurs 9:00am)_

_I hate Christmas_

_(Thurs 9:00am)_

_Hanji says I'm the Grinch incarnate and honestly I can't deny that_

_(Thurs 9:10am)_

_Who makes their employees work on Christmas anyway_

_(Thurs 9:11am)_

_Fucking government_

.

.

.

_(Thurs 12:10pm)_

_At least the kids are happy with their state-bought toys_

_(Thurs 12:10pm)_

_It's probably rude to mention that they should be thanking taxpayers instead of Santa Claus_

_(Thurs 12:15pm)_

_Or me_

.

.

.

_(Thurs 3:00pm)_

_At least the Grinch got to leave early_

_(Thurs 3:30pm)_

_Hanji's making me go to a Christmas party_

_(Thurs 3:36pm)_

_I didn't think people actually held Christmas parties on actual Christmas_

_(Thurs 3:36pm)_

_It's common courtesy to make it the 26th at the earliest_

.

.

.

_(Thurs 4:25pm)_

_This is Thanksgiving all over again_

_(Thurs 4:40pm)_

_Apparently aforementioned ex-girlfriend is moving to Florida with new husband_

_(Thurs 4:45pm)_

_I'll probably miss her_

.

.

.

_(Thurs 5:00pm)_

_All the food here is disgusting, who thought it was a good idea to let my boss handle the cooking_

_(Thurs 5:20pm)_

_At least Hanji got me new socks. I can always count on them._

_(Thurs 5:23pm)_

_Then again, Erwin being in charge of food was probably their idea_

.

.

.

_(Thurs 6:17pm)_

_I hope your Christmas is going better than mine._

_(Thurs 6:18pm)_

_I really do_

.

.

.

(Thurs 8:05pm)

shit I'm sorry

(Thurs 8:05pm)

I forgot my phone at home

(Thurs 8:05pm)

are you okay?

_(Thurs 8:08pm)_

_No, no, don't worry I'm fine_

_(Thurs 8:08pm)_

_I'm just constantly in a natural state of complaining_

_(Thurs 8:09pm)_

_How was your day, tell me about it_

(Thurs 8:10pm)

are you sure?

_(Thurs 8:11pm)_

_It's either you distract me or I get shitfaced off dollar store wine with Erwin and Hanji, and the last time I got drunk things didn't pan out so well_

_(Thurs 8:11pm)_

_I want to hear about it_

__

(Thurs 8:13pm)

I woke up at like?? almost 12 to Armin yelling at me because I was supposed to help make food WHICH I DID but by then most of everything we were bringing was already done. I didn't get into too much trouble because surprisingly we weren't the last people to show up at our friend Krista's place but we did miss out on her homemade peppermint hot chocolate so I'll probably be hearing about it from Mikasa until next Christmas

(Thurs 8:14pm)

I ran into Annie at some point

(Thurs 8:14pm)

it was kind of really awkward but I didn't feel the overwhelming urge to throw myself off of the balcony so that's something

(Thurs 8:15pm)

we ate a lot and watched whatever Christmas movies abc family had on and nothing really spectacular happened except for Jean getting me a monthly subscription to some porn magazine like the filthy fucking heathen he is

(Thurs 8:16pm)

we came home early 'cause Armin wasn't feeling to good and I'm like 1000% sure it's because he's lactose intolerant but insisted on drinking a good quarter of the eggnog because "it's fine Eren it's Christmas"

_(Thurs 8:17pm)_

_Which magazine_

_(Thurs 8:18pm)_

_It sounds like you had a nice day_

__

(Thurs 8:19pm)

I think he said it was penthouse

(Thurs 8:20pm)

it was good

(Thurs 8:20pm)

MY DAY NOT PENTHOUSE

_(Thurs 8:21pm)_

_Jean has weird taste_

_(Thurs 8:21pm)_

_I'm glad your day was good_

(Thurs 8:22pm)

thanks man

(Thurs 8:22pm)

I'm sorry yours wasn't

_(Thurs 8:24pm)_

_Nah, I didn't text you about it because I wanted you to feel bad_

(Thurs 8:25pm)

yeah but it still sucks

(Thurs 8:25pm)

it's the time of joy and stuff

_(Thurs 8:26pm)_

_Don't worry, I'm tough_

_(Thurs 8:27pm)_

_I'm a brick wall_

(Thurs 8:27pm)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGZpQSpv2F4

_(Thurs 8:28pm)_

_You wish_

(Thurs 8:29pm)

kinda

_(Thurs 8:30pm)_

_Careful, you're starting to break your dudebro "no homo" molds_

(Thurs 8:30pm)

I don't know what you're talking about

(Thurs 8:30pm)

clearly I'm bisexual?

_(Thurs 8:33pm)_

_Hm, clearly_

(Thurs 8:34pm)

was that too homo

_(Thurs 8:34pm)_

_No_

(Thurs 8:35pm)

good

.

.

.

(Thurs 11:08pm)

hey Levi

_(Thurs 11:09pm)_

_Hm_

(Thurs 11:11pm)

I wish you had a happy birthday

.

.

.

_(Fri 2:32am)_

_I did_

.

.

.

**(Sat 3:55pm)**

**Ayo little man (*˘︶˘*)**

_(Sat 3:56pm)_

_Oh God, what is it_

_(Sat 3:57pm)_

_Do you want the socks back_

__

**(Sat 3:58pm)**

**Depends, have you done your laundry yet? ≖‿≖**

_(Sat 4:00pm)_

_Every day_

__

**(Sat 4:01pm)**

**Heheh (๑ >‿<๑) It’s alright, you can keep ‘em. Knee highs were always more your thing than they were mine**

**(Sat 4:01pm)**

**I actually wanted to know if you were feelin’ any better? (• з •)**

_(Sat 4:03pm)_

_Maybe you can get me some thigh-highs for New Years_

_(Sat 4:04pm)_

_I'm okay_

_(Sat 4:10pm)_

_Strangely enough, I didn't think somebody I've never met and only talk to via text had the capacity to improve my overall mood, but I guess shit happens_

_(Sat 4:10pm)_

_Don't tell that to anyone, though_

**(Sat 4:12pm)**

**Scout’s honor! Care to elaborate? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

__

_(Sat 4:13pm)_

_Not at all, I have a rep to keep_

**(Sat 4:14pm)**

**Oh, c’mon! Everyone only sees your hard candy exterior but I know about your soft nougaty center ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)σ»**

**(Sat 4:14pm)**

**Lay it on me, Ackerman**

_(Sat 4:15pm)_

_I don't have feelings, if that's what you're insinuating_

_(Sat 4:15pm)_

_I just enjoy his conversation_

_(Sat 4:16pm)_

_He's a lot more optimistic than I am, it's a nice reprieve from my own bitter ass_

**(Sat 4:17pm)**

**Mmm**

_(Sat 4:18pm)_

_Don’t blow this out of proportion_

**(Sat 4:19pm)**

**Would pointing out the fact that you’ve been just a little less gloom and doom since phone boy came around be ‘blowing it out of proportion’?**

_(Sat 4:21pm)_

_Hm, is that so_

**(Sat 4:22pm)**

**You didn’t deny it~**

_(Sat 4:25pm)_

_I guess not_

**(Sat 4:27pm)**

**Look, I know human interaction isn’t necessarily your strong suit, but I also know you don’t hold full sentence conversations with just anyone.**

**(Sat 4:27pm)**

**So what’s holding you back?**

_(Sat 4:28pm)_

_Besides the obvious, social ineptitude plus the whole 'Levi, you're actually really insecure you just hide it behind your pride' to quote my least favourite person in the world_

_(Sat 4:29pm)_

_There's always that one thing_

**(Sat 4:30pm)**

**Ah**

**(Sat 4:30pm)**

**That’s what this is about**

_(Sat 4:31pm)_

_Mainly_

**(Sat 4:32pm)**

**Oh Levi**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wtf a new chapter so soon :0 Also tbh start spitting out fantheories, we thrive off them!! As per usuaaall thank you for all the comments/kudos (wtf 500 kudos already? wtf?? keep this up and we'll finally beat out that shitty spideypool fic I wrote back in 2012) We love you guys v much and absolutely enjoy your company on this fic (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ pls continue to inspire/motivate us (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧  
> -K


	9. December 28th, 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a very happy new year indeed

**December 28th, 2014**

Eren | _Levi_ | **Hanji** |  Armin

(Sun 1:19pm)

so... y'know... New Year's is comin up...

_(Sun 1:20pm)_

_That it is_

(Sun 1:21pm)

got anything planned?

_(Sun 1:22pm)_

_Hm, Hanji's dragging me to a New Year's Eve party, but after that I'm open_

(Sun 1:23pm)

!!! awesome !!!

(Sun 1:23pm)

so... if you're into it... there's this one coffee place...

_(Sun 1:25pm)_

_Yeah, sure_

_(Sun 1:25pm)_

_It's not Starbucks is it_

(Sun 1:26pm)

nah nah, it's this one place called wallflower cafe or something

(Sun 1:26pm)

it's in downtown trost

(Sun 1:27pm)

their vanilla chai lattes are 10/10

_(Sat 1:28pm)_

_Sounds good_

_(Sat 1:28pm)_

_You can give me directions day of_

(Sat 1:29pm)

sure thing

(Sat 1:30pm)

what are you up to?

_(Sat 1:31pm)_

_Trying to come up with an excuse about why I absolutely cannot make it to this New Year's Eve party and wondering if I should be taking my cat to the vet_

_(Sat 1:31pm)_

_After all, she did get wrecked by that one fucker and I know for a fact that she's not fixed_

(Sat 1:32pm)

maybe you can use her potential pregnancy as an excuse

_(Sat 1:33pm)_

_Good idea. I can tell Hanji I need a maternity leave._

.

.

.

_(Sat 1:34pm)_

_Oi, four eyes I can't go to your party. I have a pregnant cat to take care of._

**(Sat 1:35pm)**

**WHAAAAAT?! Since when is Black Dynamite pregnant?? Are you gonna keep the kittens? Can I have one? (ര◡ര)**

_(Sat 1:36pm)_

_I have to take her to the vet to confirm. That's why I can't go to your party._

**(Sat 1:37pm)**

**Aww but I promised Marco we’d go ( >ε<)**

_(Sat 1:38pm)_

_Why am I obligated to keep a promise to an intern I barely know_

**(Sat 1:39pm)**

**Because it’s nice!**

_(Sat 1:40pm)_

**(Sat 1:41pm)**

**You know, you didn’t start sending me memes until a certain someone =w=**

_(Sat 1:42pm)_

_Oh, speak of the devil_

_(Sat 1:42pm)_

_He invited me out for coffee after New Year’s_

**(Sat 1:43pm)**

**But.... did you say yes…**

_(Sat 1:44pm)_

_Of course_

.

.

.

\--INCOMING CALL--

_“What is it, Hanji-”_

**“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH-”**

\--CALL ENDED--

.

.

.

(Sat 1:31pm)

guess what

(Sat 1:32pm)

What? o:

(Sat 1:34pm)

i fu CKIGN DID IT  I ASKED LEVI IF HE WANTED TO KCIK IT AND HE SAID YE SS S

(Sat 1:35pm)

:O!!!! That's amazing !!! When are you guys gonna hang out?? Where are you meeting up?? He really said yes??

(Sat 1:36pm)

WE'RE GONNA GE T COF F EE AT THAT ONE PLAC E DOWNTOW N AFTER NE WYERAS

(Sat 1:37pm)

of course after New Year’s could mean literally any day after New Year’s but I’m hoping we both mean shortly after New Year’s

(Sat 1:38pm)

That's so cool, I'm so happy for you! Is it like a date or just like a meet up thing?

(Sat 1:40pm)

you know we met via texting not on grindr or anything right

(Sat 1:41pm)

it’s just a meet up thing, I don’t think he’d have said yes if there were anything else implied

(Sat 1:42pm)

Well hang in there! Give him time to fall for those Eren charms ;D

(Sat 1:42pm)

Speaking of people who have fallen for your charms, Jean wants to know if you're still bringing ice to his New Year's party

(Sat 1:43pm)

Update, Jean says you have no charm to fall for, but I know him better :3c

(Sat 1:44pm)

tell Jean if he keeps that shit up he can buy his own damn ice

.

.

.

_(Wed 8:23pm)_

_God, save me from this fucking party_

_(Wed 8:23pm)_

_If you can even call it that, it's the deadest thing I've ever seen_

_(Wed 8:23pm)_

_It's more like get-together roadkill_

(Wed 8:24pm)

you’re talkative today

_(Wed 8:25pm)_

_It’s the wine, loosens me up_

(Wed 8:26pm)

already?

_(Wed 8:27pm)_

_Are you calling me a lightweight_

(Wed 8:28pm)

depends

(Wed 8:28pm)

are you loose enough to dance to whatever overplayed pop song they’re playing at your shindig

_(Wed 8:30pm)_

_Mm, not when it’s Taylor Swift’s cover of Last Christmas three times in a row_

_(Wed 8:30pm)_

_Christmas is over, who’s in charge of this music_

(Wed 8:31pm)

hey that’s playing at my thing too

(Wed 8:31pm)

Jean’s so into Taylor Swift tho I’m not even surprised

(Wed 8:32pm)

Armin was gonna take over but all he has is heavy metal and while I don’t mind it on car rides I don’t think our guests would appreciate it

(Wed 8:32pm)

I’m pretty sure our friend Connie’s gonna DJ when he gets here

(Wed 8:33pm)

I was gonna do it but I wanna talk to you

_(Wed 8:34pm)_

_I’m flattered_

_(Wed 8:34pm)_

_I’d offer a phone call but some asshole’s trying to start a game of beer pong and he and his frat buddies are being loud as fuck_

(Wed 8:35pm)

I played beer pong once but I got kicked out because I filled half the cups with Mountain Dew

__

_(Wed 8:36pm)_

_Really, I kind of pictured you as the ‘chug out of a beer bong and get alcohol poisoning’ type_

(Wed 8:37pm)

ehh I drink sometimes but I don’t really like it

(Wed 8:37pm)

it’s usually just when I’m sad but when I’m not I enjoy my inhibitions

_(Wed 8:38pm)_

_Oh_

(Wed 8:39pm)

don’t sweat it

_(Wed 8:40pm)_

_Sorry_

(Wed 8:41pm)

Levi it’s okay really omg

_(Wed 8:42pm)_

_Okay_

_(Wed 8:45pm)_

_Some linebacker-type just went crashing through the coffee table_

_(Wed 8:45pm)_

_Maybe I spoke too soon calling this party dead_

_(Wed 8:46pm)_

_It’s a fucking mess, though_

__

(Wed 8:56pm)

SORRY I had to go find someone bc his boyfriend broke something or something idk

(Wed 8:57pm)

looks like everyone’s a mess except me and you

_(Wed 9:00pm)_

_Don’t hold your breath Eren_

(Wed 9:01pm)

you’re right

(Wed 9:01pm)

we’re always a mess

(Wed 9:01pm)

I’m really hungry but idk?? where the food is?? maybe I can get away with eating all the chips

 

_(Wed 9:05pm)_

_Sorry, I ran into this girl who looked a lot like me. It was weird_

_(Wed 9:05pm)_

_Speak for yourself_

_(Wed 9:06pm)_

_I know the feeling, I haven’t been able to find a single zebra cake_

_(Wed 9:06pm)_

_Don’t choke on your chips_

(Wed 9:06pm)

OMG

(Wed 9:07pm)

I’ll buy you zebra cakes

(Wed 9:07pm)

I’ll hand deliver ‘em idgaf

_(Wed 9:08pm)_

_That’s very kind of you_

(Wed 9:08pm)

I know, I know

(Wed 9:09pm)

try not to swoon

_(Wed 9:09pm)_

_I don’t know, it’s getting pretty difficult_

(Wed 9:11pm)

have my boyish charms finally succeeded or is it the promise of zebra cakes?

_(Wed 9:12pm)_

_Hm, wait until our coffee date and I’ll tell you then_

(Wed 9:13pm)

it’s a date, is it?

_(Wed 9:14pm)_

_It can be_

(Wed 9:15pm)

should I b

_(Wed 9:16pm)_

_Are you okay_

_(Wed 9:17pm)_

_Speaking of okay, someone just destroyed the snack table_

_(Wed 9:17pm)_

_This is even worse than the coffee table incident_

(Wed 9:17pm)

I JUST BROKE THE TABLE

__

_(Wed 9:20pm)_

_Wait, what are you talking about_

(Wed 9:26pm)

I was getting more chips but I slipped on some unidentifiable liquid and now Jean says I owe him a new table but I’m not getting him a new table

_(Wed 9:27pm)_

_No, that’s not what I mean_

_(Wed 9:28pm)_

_Where are you?_

(Wed 9:28pm)

what do you mean?

(Wed 9:28pm)

I’m at Jean’s place? It’s sort of in the swanky side of Trost, why?

_(Wed 9:29pm)_

_But what does it look like?_

(Wed 9:31pm)

uhhh it’s this really big blue two story house, it’s sort of up on this hill, one of the bushes outside kind of looks like a horse

_(Wed 9:33pm)_

_Do you know a Marco_

(Wed 9:34pm)

that I do! he’s a cool dude, I’m pretty sure him and Armin are wait

(Wed 9:34pm)

Marco Bodt?   

_(Wed 9:35pm)_

_Intern for CPS Marco Bodt_

_(Wed 9:35pm)_

_Holy shit_

(Wed 9:36pm)

oh my god

(Wed 9:36pm)

what floor are you on

_(Wed 9:37pm)_

_The first_

(Wed 9:38pm)

I’m wearing this red maroony colored beanie and I’m standing next to this really ugly fish sculpture by the stairs

(Wed 9:38pm)

do you see me?

(Wed 9:50pm)

Levi?

_(Wed 9:52pm)_

_Hanji’s ushering me out the door_

(Wed 9:53pm)

but it’s barely 10

(Wed 9:53pm)

are you sure you can’t stay?

(Wed 9:55pm)

come back

.

.

.

**(Wed 10:00pm)**

**Hey! Where’d you go? ( ・◇・)**

.

.

.

_(Wed 10:01pm)_

_I can’t_

.

.

.

(Wed 10:22pm)

Levi?

_(Wed 10:23pm)_

_I’m sorry_

.

.

.

(Thurs 12:34am)

\--INCOMING CALL--

__

_“Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice message system. Levi Ackerman is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you are finished recording, you may hang up, or press one for more options. To leave a callback number, press nine.”_

"Hey, man! Sucks ya couldn't stay til midnight. You totally missed the fireworks and everything! Y'know, me included. S'okay though, M'not mad. Marco introduced us to Hanji, they were pretty cool. Would’ve been cooler if you were there, though. Where’d you go, anyway? Did you see me? Was it my shoes? Mikasa always said that bright red made me look tacky. Speaking of Mikasa, haha, oh man. She-... y’know what, I’ll tell you about it later. If there is a later. I really hope we're still on for coffee. I won’t wear these shoes, I promise, and I’ll bring zebra cakes and it’s gonna be great. You’re great. You’re soo great, y’know? You’re kind of an asshole but like it’s cute, in a weird kind of way, but so are we. Weird, I mean. Not cute. Maybe, we could be. I don’t know. I should go. Happy New Year, Levi."

  
\--CALL ENDED--


	10. January 1st, 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [shows up one month late with starbucks] ayo ya filthy beasts we're back by popular demand with an all knew chapter of the legendary Typo. No I'm jk, we do really apologise for the wait things have been super busy (living that 2 jobs college kid life), and we thank you all very much for your patience!!! Fair warning this chapter is kinda half-assed cause we wanted to get to ya'll ASAP considering you've been waiting so long and have been so nice about it, but after all this angst we promise comic relief. Aside from the being busy thing we're also kinda stuck so if there's anything you wanna see go down in the fic feel free to toss out some ideas? And just a reminder that you can hit us up on your tumblr's: you'll find me over @spacelevi, and my dear Melissa @alfredxo. We love you and thanks again xoxo.  
> -Krissie

**January 1st 2015**

Eren | _Levi_ | **Hanji**

_(Thurs 1:00pm)_

_Happy New Year_

(Thurs 1:01pm)

no

(Thurs 1:04pm)

sorry I'm just really hungover

_(Thurs 1:05pm)_

_I thought you only drank when you were sad_

(Thurs 1:06pm)

yeah

_(Thurs 1:07pm)_

_Sorry I'm such a shitty person_

(Thurs 1:08pm)

you're not a shitty person

_(Thurs 1:09pm)_

_No I am_

_(Thurs 1:10pm)_

_I should've explained before I just skipped out and shouldn't have lied about Hanji forcing me_

_(Thurs 1:10pm)_

_Listen, I don't want you thinking it's about you because it's not, I just have some shit I need to figure out for myself. I thought it'd be okay but then I saw you and just fucking panicked_

_(Thurs 1:15pm)_

_I'm not asking you to wait for me to get my shit together or anything like that, Eren_

_(Thurs 1:15pm)_

_And I still want to talk to you_

_(Thurs 1:15pm)_

_But only if you do, too_

_(Thurs 1:16pm)_

_I'd never ask you to keep talking to someone who makes you feel like shit_

(Thurs 1:19pm)

I'm not mad at you or anything, I want you to know that. I know it probably seemed that way. I mean, I WAS kinda bummed, for a while there I was pretty sure we were done for and I really don't know how to tell you how stoked I am to know that that's not the case in a way that maintains my "no homo" aesthetic

(Thurs 1:20pm)

I'm totally cool with postponing our coffee date if it means you won't run away again

_(Thurs 1:21pm)_

_Okay_

_(Thurs 1:21pm)_

_I won't_

(Thurs 1:22pm)

sooo did my face meet any expectations?

_(Thurs 1:23pm)_

_Hm_

__

(Thurs 1:24pm)

if I'm like really ugly I need to know

_(Thurs 1:25pm)_

_You have nothing to worry about_

_(Thurs 1:25pm)_

_Anyway, how was the rest of your New Years, assuming I didn't ruin it_

(Thurs 1:26pm)

well

(Thurs 1:26pm)

some stuff happened

_(Thurs 1:27pm)_

_oh?_

(Thurs 1:28pm)

I MEAN some of it is a little y’know blurry

_(Thurs 1:29pm)_

_Does this have anything to do with the Mikasa thing you mentioned in your voicemail_

(Thurs 1:30pm)

yeah

_(Thurs 1:31pm)_

_Well I’m not gonna drag it out of you_

(Thurs 1:32pm)

nononononono it’s just

(Thurs 1:32pm)

there’s a lot of stuff people do on New Year’s y’know traditions

(Thurs 1:32pm)

I happened to take part in a few of those

(Thurs 1:33pm)

like the twelve grapes thing

(Thurs 1:34pm)

and the kiss at midnight

(Thurs 1:34pm)

thing

__

_(Thurs 1:36pm)_

_I see_

_(Thurs 1:36pm)_

_Were they cute_

__

(Thurs 1:38pm)

I was like gone and it was almost midnight and Annie was right there and it just kind of happened

(Thurs 1:38pm)

I left to piss or throw up or something I don’t know but when I got back she was with my sister again

_(Thurs 1:39pm)_

_Well then_

__

(Thurs 1:40pm)

is that all you have to say

__

_(Thurs 1:41pm)_

_I don’t know what you want me to say_

__

(Thurs 1:42pm)

last time you gave me a pretty solid pep talk

_(Thurs 1:43pm)_

_Things were different then_

__

(Thurs 1:44pm)

how are things different now?

_(Thurs 1:45pm)_

_You know how_

__

(Thurs 1:46pm)

yeah

(Thurs 1:46pm)

I’m sorry

__

_(Thurs 1:47pm)_

_I did say I wasn’t going to make you wait for me or anything_

_(Thurs 1:47pm)_

_So it’s fine_

__

(Thurs 1:48pm)

maybe I want to

__****  
  


.

****  
  


.

****  
  


.

****  
  


_(Thurs 1:50pm)_

_You’re not gonna fucking believe what Eren just told me_

**(Thurs 1:55pm)**

**Oh boy (°◇°;)**

__

_(Thurs 1:56pm)_

_Apparently midnight came around and he decided it’d be a grand idea to kiss his ex girlfriend_

_(Thurs 1:56pm)_

_Like, who does that, that’d be like me kissing Petra because of “New Year’s tradition”_

**(Thurs 1:57pm)**

**Oh no. Levi, I’m so sorry! ( ﾟдﾟ) Are you okay?**

__

_(Thurs 1:58pm)_

_Why wouldn’t I be_

**(Thurs 1:59pm)**

**Oh, you know. I was wondering where you ran off to last night. Then I met someone by the name of Eren who, upon hearing my name, asked me if I knew anyone named Levi. Of course I said yes and that only seemed to confuse the poor boy because, apparently, I made you leave the party.**

**(Thurs 2:00pm)**

**So, are you okay?**

_(Thurs 2:01pm)_

_Oh, that_

**(Thurs 2:02pm)**

**What happened?**

_(Thurs 2:03pm)_

_I saw him and pussied out, that’s it_

**(Thurs 2:04pm)**

**There has to be more to it**

_(Thurs 2:05pm)_

_Like I said there's only that one thing_

_(Thurs 2:07pm)_

_Which is fucking bullshit because regardless of who he is it's not really his business anyway, and I'm not actually lying to him, but I'm just a big fucking baby about it_

_(Thurs 2:07pm)_

_This is the same shit that happened with Petra, not that I have any animosity about it, but I don't want that with Eren_

_(Thurs 2:08pm)_

_Which is disgusting_

**(Thurs 2:09pm)**

**Are you scared he won’t be cool about it?**

_(Thurs 2:10pm)_

_I'm just scared._

.

.

.

(Sat 3:45pm)

you know what we haven’t done in a while

_(Sat 3:46pm)_

_Oh no_

(Sat 3:47pm)

I’m p sure it’s ur turn but I’m gonna ask you something anyway

(Sat 3:47pm)

Q8: what’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

_(Sat 3:48pm)_

_Ah, how could I forget_

_(Sat 3:50pm)_

_One time I had this dream that I forgot how to drive so I had to have Hanji teach me and it was raining, which are really shitty conditions to drive in anyway, let alone learn how to in, so obviously I did fucking terrible. And these cops started chasing us so Hanji made me drive up this mountain and we were cornered by three cop cars, and they had megaphones and everything yelling at us to get out. So eventually we did and these cops were shining flashlights in our eyes and just generally being dickwads like real life cops, and all of a sudden one of the asks me, 'Do you feel something weird?'. And me, being obviously in a dream, was like what the fuck no, but all of a sudden the sky just went totally black, no stars or anything. And everything fucking tilted and got super stretched out, like taffy, and I woke up one percent convinced that the Earth had just been swallowed by a black hole and that I was dead._

__

(Sat 3:51pm)

dude you straight up fell into the void

(Sat 3:51pm)

you think that that was actually happening like in another universe and when you got gobbed up by the black hole you were transported to this one

_(Sat 3:52pm)_

_That would explain a lot actually_

(Sat 3:53pm)

like your mysterious backstory

_(Sat 3:54pm)_

_I'm not as mysterious as you think I am_

_(Sat 3:55pm)_

_Question 7:  how to tell if your cat is pregnant_

_(Sat 3:55pm)_

_Wait ignore that that was for Google_

_(Sat 3:55pm)_

_Question 7: What was your first concert like_

(Sat 3:57pm)

oH MAN alright um like way back in the day like 2009 I saw blink-182 with?? Mikasa, Jean, Connie and I’m p sure Sasha was there and they had just gotten back together right and it was so fucking HYPE and I was doing such a good job of keeping myself together but then they started playing all the small things and I lost it oh my god BUT I didn’t want anyone to think I wasn’t punk rock so I elbowed my way into the pit and got the shit beat out of me but it was awesome

(Sat 3:58pm)

BUT THEN like after the show when we were walking back to the car there were these dudes and they started being really gross to Mikasa and Sasha and I wasn’t gonna have any of that shit y’know and that’s how I got my very first broken nose

(Sat 3:58pm)

it was worth it tho

_(Sat 4:00pm)_

_A knight in shining armor_

(Sat 4:01pm)

chivalry is my middle name

.

.

.

(Sat 10:02pm)

hey Levi

__

_(Sat 10:03pm)_

_Hm?_

__

(Sat 10:05pm)

I’m glad we can still talk about stupid stuff

_(Sat 10:06pm)_

_Me too_


	11. January 3rd, 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *almost 2 months later* We are busy people pls haz can we has mercy  
> Lots of emotional angsty stuff this chapter but plenty of flirting to make up for it we promise!!! Just a heads up for some Jean/Armin and implied past-Bertholdt/Armin in case that's smth you're not into  
> ((Also speaking of tattoos I just got an Evangelion on and on a scale of 1-10 how much of a weeabood o you think I am????))  
> As always we thank you for your paitence and appreicate all of your comments and kudos they really really mean a lot to us xoxo  
> -Krissie-senpai

**January 3rd, 2015**

Eren | _Levi_ |  Armin?

(Sat 1:14pm)

so like 3 months ago I signed up for okcupid and I totally forgot about it up until now

(Sat 1:14pm)

this girl won’t stop messaging me

(Sat 1:14pm)

help

_(Sat 1:16pm)_

_You’re popular with the ladies_

__

(Sat 1:17pm)

the ladies love me, fellas not so much

(Sat 1:17pm)

it’s a shame really

_(Sat 1:19pm)_

_Is that so_

_(Sat 1:19pm)_

_What is this girl messaging you about anyway_

(Sat 1:21pm)

ah, the usual

(Sat 1:21pm)

stuff about how my eyes are “the color of the mediterranean sea” and what not

_(Sat 1:22pm)_

_I wouldn’t say Mediterranean_

_(Sat 1:22pm)_

_They’re more Caribbean_

(Sat 1:24pm)

she’s also talking about how “absolutely stunning” my smile is

(Sat 1:24pm)

and how she also likes blink-182

(Sat 1:25pm)

I think she’s hitting on me

_(Sat 1:26pm)_

_Maybe you should flirt with her back_

(Sat 1:27pm)

idk man I’ve been pretty off my game lately

_(Sat 1:28pm)_

_http://www.wikihow.com/Flirt_

(Sat 1:28pm)

Method 1 of 2: Flirting by Texting or Chatting

_(Sat 1:30pm)_

_Well, that’s what you’re doing right_

_(Sat 1:30pm)_

_So what are the steps_

(Sat 1:31pm)

1\. Keep your approach casual

(Sat 1:31pm)

and then it has like generic starter questions

(Sat 1:32pm)

how’s your week going btw

_(Sat 1:33pm)_

_It’s uneventful_

_(Sat 1:36pm)_

_Is that one of your starter questions_

_(Sat 1:37pm)_

_Why are you asking me, ask OKCupid girl_

(Sat 1:38pm)

maybe I just wanna know how your week is going

(Sat 1:38pm)

and also if you’ve read any good books lately

_(Sat 1:39pm)_

_I have a link to that page too, you know_

_(Sat 1:40pm)_

_If you must know I recently read 1984. It was quite Big Brother centric_

_(Sat 1:40pm)_

_Which ironically enough is one of my favorite reality shows_

(Sat 1:42pm)

I’ve never actually seen big brother

(Sat 1:42pm)

isn’t it just like every other reality show where they stick a bunch of people in a house and film them

(Sat 1:42pm)

I wonder if okcupid girl likes reality shows

_(Sat 1:43pm)_

_Why don’t you ask her_

(Sat 1:44pm)

maybe I will

(Sat 1:50pm)

update she watched the first fuckign 10 seasons but I wanna why the fuCK there’s a million fucking seasons of this show but jersey shore only has 6??

(Sat 1:50pm)

this is an outrage

_(Sat 1:51pm)_

_The only show that deserves 17 seasons is Ink Master_

_(Sat 1:51pm)_

_That’s not true, they completely degraded it into being more about the drama and the tension between the contestants instead of the actual tattooing and the art of it, so now it’s annoying and honestly it’s pretty fucking boring_

_(Sat 1:52pm)_

_I’m still going to watch it though_

(Sat 1:52pm)

SAME

(Sat 1:53pm)

honestly idk how they sit through fuckin like?? 6 hour tattoos wtf I barely made it through a 3 hour one smh

_(Sat 1:54pm)_

_Wait_

_(Sat 1:54pm)_

_You have tattoos_

(Sat 1:55pm)

have I not mentioned it before

_(Sat 1:56pm)_

_You haven’t_

(Sat 1:56pm)

but?? you saw me

_(Sat 1:57pm)_

_You had on three layers of jackets, how was I supposed to know_

(Sat 1:58pm)

oH YEAH woops

(Sat 1:58pm)

well

(Sat 1:58pm)

I have tattoos

_(Sat 2:00pm)_

_What the fuck_

(Sat 2:01pm)

you wanna see? ;)

_(Sat 2:02pm)_

_Only if they’re somewhere appropriate_

(Sat 2:04pm)

I have a smiley face on my butt but I won’t put you through that

(Sat 2:05pm)

but no yeah they’re p much all on my arms

_(Sat 2:06pm)_

_Like, sleeves_

(Sat 2:07pm)

ye

_(Sat 2:08pm)_

_Wow_

(Sat 2:09pm)

is that a good wow or a bad wow

_(Sat 2:10pm)_

_Depends_

(Sat 2:11pm)

pls

_(Sat 2:12pm)_

_Show OKCupid girl your tattoos I'm sure she'll be impressed._

(Sat 2:13pm)

idk if we're on the selfie swap level yet :/

_(Sat 2:15pm)_

_Hm, you're right, you should try texting acquaintances first_

(Sat 2:16pm)

ur right

60% of the time it works every time

_(Sat 2:17pm)_

_So you make this a hobby then_

__

(Sat 2:18pm)

nah you're special

_(Sat 2:19pm)_

_Is that right?_

(Sat 2:19pm)

yes

_(Sat 2:21pm)_

_Hm_

__

(Sat 2:22pm)

penny for your throughts

?

__

_(Sat 2:24pm)_

_I was just thinking about how today, I went to the grocery store to buy more Twinkies and they had those Minions all over the boxes_

_(Sat 2:24pm)_

_I was so fucking offended_

(Sat 2:25pm)

isn't that coming out in like july

_(Sat 2:26pm)_

_Talk about over-hype_

.

.

.

 

(Sun 8:16pm)

okcupid girl is at it again

_(Sun 8:20pm)_

_Just talk to her like a stereotypical white boy_

(Sun 8:21pm)

haha what like this? ;)

_(Sun 8:22pm)_

_Gross, but yes, like that_

(Sun 8:23pm)

ok haha :) what are u doing haha

_(Sun 8:26pm)_

_Stop_

_(Sun 8:26pm)_

_I'm watching X-Files_

(Sun 8:27pm)

stop what haha

(Sun 8:27pm)

oh haha what would u do if i was there haha ;)

_(Sun 8:28pm)_

_I would continue to watch X-Files, it's a very intense episode_

_(Sun 8:29pm)_

_What does OkCupid girl have to say about all this_

(Sun 8:30pm)

honestly I don't think she's bothered by it

(Sun 8:30pm)

I mean

(Sun 8:30pm)

haha then what ;)

_(Sun 8:31pm)_

_What is she saying_

_(Sun 8:31pm)_

_I would watch the next episode_

(Sun 8:34pm)

she just gave me her kik

(Sun 8:34pm)

I don't even have a kik

(Sun 8:35pm)

and then what ;)

_(Sun 8:35pm)_

_I'll give you a kik if you keep doing that_

(Sun 8:36pm)

you're so cold :(

_(Sun 8:37pm)_

_So I've been told_

(Sun 8:40pm)

bet I could warm u up ;)

_(Sun 8:42pm)_

_Oh my God, go to bed_

(Sun 8:43pm)

would u come with ;)

_(Sun 8:44pm)_

_Only if you have non-Minion twinkies_

__

(Sun 8:45pm)

i've got off brand dreamies take it or leave it

_(Sun 8:47pm)_

_Sorry, I'm a high maintenance man_

(Sun 8:50pm)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY

_(Sun 8:52pm)_

_Damn straight_

(Sun 8:53pm)

damn the straights indeed

_(Sun 8:53pm)_

_Amen_

__

(Sun 8:54pm)

are you a priest

_(Sun 8:55pm)_

_I already told you, I'm a social worker_

__

(Sun 8:56pm)

OH RIGHT RIGHT

(Sun 8:57pm)

I totally forgot

(Sun 8:57pm)

how long have you been a social worker

_(Sun 8:58pm)_

_Almost 3 years now_

(Sun 8:59pm)

that’s crazy

(Sun 9:00pm)

what do you even like

(Sun 9:00pm)

do

_(Sun 9:01pm)_

_Child protective services_

_(Sun 9:01pm)_

_It's government stuff I'm not really supposed to talk about_

_(Sun 9:01pm)_

_Not to sound all Levi Bond again_

 

(Sun 9:02pm)

idk I kinda like Levi Bond

(Sun 9:02pm)

but no srsly

(Sun 9:02pm)

that's really cool

 

_(Sun 9:03pm)_

_Ah, thanks_

_(Sun 9:04pm)_

_It can be draining but somebody’s gotta do it_

(Sun 9:05pm)

that’s such an Interview With A Superhero thing to say

(Sun 9:05pm)

I suppose you’re kinda superhero

(Sun 9:06pm)

in your own way

(Sun 9:08pm)

that was so cheesy

(Sun 9:09pm)

I’m sorry

(Sun 9:09pm)

don’t look at me

_(Sun 9:11pm)_

(Sun 9:12pm)

I don't deserve this

_(Sun 9:13pm)_

_You sure about that_

(Sun 9:14pm)

maybe you're right

(Sun 9:15pm)

maybe i need some

(Sun 9:15pm)

;) punishment ;)

_(Sun 9:17pm)_

_(Sun 9:17pm)_

_I'm going to bed now bye_

_(Sun 9:23pm)_

_Goodnight, Eren_

(Sun 9:25pm)

goodnight sweet prince

 

.

.

.

(Sun 9:30pm)

I need help with.... a gay thing....

(Sun 9:42pm)

A lot of things you do are gay ur gonna have to be more specific

(Sun 9:42pm)

Where's Armin

(Sun 9:43pm)

this is armin

(9:43pm)

:D

(Sun 9:44pm)

I KNOW IT'S YOU FUCKWAD

(Sun 9:47pm)

okok fuck

(Sun 9:47pm)

ari's being yelled at by marco over portal so he'll be awol for a bit im taking over

(Sun 9:48pm)

oh my go d

(Sun 9:50pm)

fuck alright just tell him to text me when he can

(Sun 9:52pm)

oh come on you dont wanna bond with your future bff-in-law

(Sun 9:52pm)

best bros 4ever

(Sun 9:53pm)

talk about gay things

(Sun 9:55pm)

guy

(Sun 9:55pm)

not gay

(Sun 9:56pm)

same thing

(Sun 9:56pm)

also no i don't

(Sun 9:59pm)

ooh i bet this has something to do w/ the infamous levy

(Sun 10:01pm)

yeah it does john now go away

(Sun 10:02pm)

damn man w/e its not like i wanted to hear about ur gay emo problems

(Sun 10:07pm)

WOW OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT NOW UR GONNA HEAR ALL ABOUT IT FUCK YUO

fuck okay so LEVI WITH AN I YOU FUCKING IDIOT and I have been.. talking.. for awhile now right like jesus since that one sociology thing we had and I just?? and like we were supposed to meet at your new years thing but he?? left?? like he saw me and just fucking left like I'm slenderman or something and we talked about it and he was all ""you don't have to wait for me eren"" and ngl that fucked me up because it's like?? I don't

(Sun 10:08pm)

but I want to

(Sun 10:11pm)

I literally don't have to be waiting whatever the fuck that means for this person I've never met or seen before but I want to?? and it's like why?? why do I want to meet this fucking old grumpy mysterious man who occasionally listens to me bitch about my problems and has the WORST sense of humor I've ever experiened??

(Sun 10:12pm)

and like fuck

(Sun 10:14pm)

I don't want to say I like.... LIKE.... him because that's so dumb and irrational and I'VE SEEN CATFISH BEFORE

(Sun 10:15pm)

but I think I might

(Sun 10:15pm)

AND THEN JUST NOW I'M P SURE HE WAS FLIRTING WITH ME

(Sun 10:16pm)

or at least that's the closest to actually being intrested in me that he's ever displayed

(Sun 10:17pm)

and I just

(Sun 10:20pm)

I don't kn ow what to do

(Sun 10:21pm)

I don't knw what I'm feelign

(Sun 10:25pm)

I don't know

(Sun 10:30pm)

whoa

(Sun 10:32pm)

alright shit man i know we arent excactly the actual best of friends or some shit but im obligated to give a shit about ur ass because of armin so im gonna give you some quality Kirschtein advice you better be grateful

(Sun 10:38pm)

nobody deserves to get strung along and thats bullshit if thats what it seems like he's doing im not sayin the dudes manipulative or anything that's jumping the shark im just saying if he cant figure out his own shit then maybe take a step back until you both do

(Sun 10:39pm)

but idk cause armin and i had that same issue where we couldnt just get the fuck over ourselves and like... armin was still yknow .... about bertholdt and not to be "that guy" but when's the last time you talked to annie

(Sun 10:42pm)

idk dont get so caught over som1 who doesnt know what there doing and dont jump the gun w/ havin feelings cause you do that shit a lot and i saw you post-annie you were a mess bro no offense

(Sun 10:45pm)

don't get urself into that trouble again man its not worth it, unless this levi character wants to get over himself too who knows maybe he has his own bertholdt

(Sun 10:45pm)

i fucking hate that guy btw

(Sun 10:57pm)

aaaaah fuck

(Sun 10:59pm)

FUCK

(Sun 11:05pm)

yeah

(Sun 11:07pm)

anyways armin's done with portal if u wanna talk to him

(Sun 11:08pm)

nah

(Sun 11:09pm)

i think im good

(Sun 11:09pm)

thanks

(Sun 11:11pm)

asshole

(Sun 11:13pm)

bitch

(Sun 11:17pm)

oh btw

(Sun 11:17pm)

I hate him too

.

.

.

(Mon 9:03am)

Hate who :o

**  
**

(Mon 9:13am)

idk what you're talking about

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what krissie said  
> NO BUT SRSLY sorry we took so long omg I swear this fic is probs never going 2 be forgotten bc we literally talk about it all the time iT'S JUST *frustrated hand gestures* and like SOMEONE *coughs* krissie *coughs* is always gone.. leaving me in the cold... all alone.... smh.....  
> im kidding like a little bit  
> BUT YE WE LOVE YOU GUYS THANKS FOR READING AND WAITING AND STAYING WITH US SHOUT OUT TO YOU  
> that's right  
> you  
> -Melissa-senpai~
> 
> EDIT: lmao woops I lost a bit of dialogue there but no worries it's been fixed!!


	12. January 10th, 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peeks* haha hey hi hello sup long time no chapter  
> SO a few things have happened since the last time we met and I'll try not to make this too long because I know you're all ITCHING to find out what happens between our boys (y'know, hopefully)  
> Krissie and I are both super sorry it's been fuckin' ages since we last posted but sometimes things happen that aren't your business to share with the internet. Things are better now, though.  
> (but still send Krissie your good vibes bc she's v smol and precious and I love her)  
> ALSO you might have noticed I, voidface, the artist formerly known as melooshkah, have changed my username but I'm still me incase you were like "lmao hoo tf"  
> Lastly, hOLY FUCKING CHRIST ON A CRACKER DO YOU SEE THAT SHIT FUCKIN 811 KUDOS WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH?? I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE YOU GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT IN LIFE AAAHHH!!!!  
> *claps* ON WITH THE SHOW ヽ(”`▽´)ﾉ  
> -M

**January 10th, 2015**

Eren | _Levi_ | **Hanji**

****  
  


_(Sat 10:59pm)_

_Was that a Placebo reference_

(Sat 10:59pm)

yES

(Sat 11:00pm)

OH MY GOD

_(Sat 11:00pm)_

_What_

__

(Sat 11:00pm)

you placebo!!!!!!!!

_(Sat 11:01pm)_

_Eh, what can I say, I have a perchant for bands with androgynous moody male vocalists in runny eyeliner and leather pants_

(Sat 11:02pm)

ah thats right

(Sat 11:02pm)

I almost forgot your huge love boner for muse

_(Sat 11:03pm)_

_I do not have a huge boner for Muse, excuse you_

_(Sat 11:03pm)_

_At least not literally_

_(Sat 11:03pm)_

_But hypothetically if I did it'd be strictly for Matt Bellamy_

(Sat 11:04pm)

please, Levi, don't be so crude

(Sat 11:04pm)

LOVE boners come from the HEART

(Sat 11:04pm)

and if hypothetically you literally had a large growth sticking out of your chest you might want to see a doctor

(Sat 11:05pm)

also I'm gonna fight Matt Bellamy

(Sat 11:05pm)

hypothetically

_(Sat 11:05pm)_

_What did Matt Bellamy ever do to you_

_(Sat 11:06pm)_

_Hypothetically_

(Sat 11:06pm)

to me? nothing

(Sat 11:06pm)

but he's got you all heart eyes and idk if I can stand for that

(Sat 11:07pm)

hypothetically

(Sat 11:07pm)

maybe not so hypothetically actually

_(Sat 11:08pm)_

_Hm_

_(Sat 11:08pm)_

_Somebody's jealous_

(Sat 11:09pm)

hypothetically

__

_(Sat 11:10pm)_

_Well nothing to worry about Matt Bellamy is way out of my league_

_(Sat 11:10pm)_

_I guess I'll have to go with second best_

(Sat 11:11pm)

oh yeah?

(Sat 11:11pm)

who wears the silver medal

_(Sat 11:12pm)_

_Brian Molko_

(Sat 11:14pm)

that's not even a real person

_(Sat 11:15pm)_

_He is in my dreams_

_(Sat 11:15pm)_

_There's one person I could push for bronze but I'm not ready to let him know yet_

(Sat 11:16pm)

is it George Orwell

_(Sat 11:17pm)_

_Nah_

(Sat 11:18pm)

is it Gerard Way

_(Sat 11:19pm)_

_Gross_

(Sat 11:20pm)

he's a good lookin dude

(Sat 11:20pm)

I'd take him out for drinks

_(Sat 11:20pm)_

_Interesting_

_(Sat 11:21pm)_

_I took you for a Billie Joe Armstrong type_

(Sat 11:22pm)

well you're not wrong

_(Sat 11:22pm)_

_I'm usually not_

(Sat 11:23pm)

hey Levi

_(Sat 11:23pm)_

_Hm_

__

(Sat 11:25pm)

can I ask you something

_(Sat 11:25pm)_

_Sure_

(Sat 11:27pm)

what exactly

(Sat 11:27pm)

is this

_(Sat 11:28pm)_

_I don't know what you're referring to_

(Sat 11:28pm)

oh my god

(Sat 11:29pm)

us, Levi

(Sat 11:29pm)

this thing we have going on

(Sat 11:29pm)

what is it

(Sat 11:29pm)

what are we

_(Sat 11:30pm)_

_Oh_

(Sat 11:30pm)

yeah

_(Sat 11:31pm)_

_I don't know_

(Sat 11:32pm)

'cause I just fuckign

it was fun at first y'know? hitting on some random dude, trying to pry personal information out of him, crying about my ex because I really didn't think this would go on for more than a couple days but then I just couldn't stop wanting to talk to you??

you're just so fucking weird and interesting and you fill up the empty spaces of my life so well and I always wanna know how you're doing and if you're okay but I feel like that's kind of weird of me to ask so I just bug you until I can read whatever vibes you're giving off and it's SO HARD SOMETIMES but I like talking to you anyway bc every now and then you'll say something and it'll instantly break the manic pixie dream boy aesthetic you got going on bc oh my god you're such a fucking nerd and you have a cat who's name is something like a cheesy 90s superhero and you work with little tiny children and your favorite movie is fucking stAR TREK and you're honestly one of my favorite people

and then Armin saw you at his dumb yogurt shop and we had a coffee date and Marco got that internship at that one place and of course he fucking invited you to Jean's party and god I wanted to meet you so bad and I kept fixing my hair and none of it really registered until you left and I felt so sick and I wanna say I don't know if it was because of everything I had to drink but that didn't start until you were gone and then it FINALLY fucking hit me

(Sat 11:33pm)

and I'm not saying it isn't fun now but it's just getting really hard to act like I'm just kidding

.

.

.

_(Sat 11:38pm)_

**(Sat 11:40pm)**

**He really likes you, Levi**

_(Sat 11:42pm)_

_I know_

.

.

.

_(Sat 11:43pm)_

_What do you want from me, Eren_

(Sat 11:43pm)

an answer

_(Sat 11:44pm)_

_To what_

(Sat 11:45pm)

why did you run away the night of jean’s party

_(Sat 11:46pm)_

_Maybe I was scared_

(Sat 11:46pm)

of?

_(Sat 11:47pm)_

_Not you_

(Sat 11:48pm)

if not me then what?

_(Sat 11:49pm)_

_I’m not ready to tell you_

(Sat 11:50pm)

oh my god Levi what could possibly be so bad

(Sat 11:50pm)

is it just

(Sat 11:50pm)

are you bullshitting me? are you just not who I thought you’ve been?

_(Sat 11:51pm)_

_Not in the way you probably think I am_

_(Sat 11:51pm)_

_I haven’t lied about anything, if that’s what you’re asking_

(Sat 11:51pm)

what does that even mean

_(Sat 11:52pm)_

_That I'm not fucking catfishing you, since you won't just go ahead and ask it_

_(Sat 11:53pm)_

_And I am a social worker and I do have a cat and I am 26, and I only fucked with you at the beginning because I didn't think you'd keep talking to me, but everything after that was the truth_

_(Sat 11:53pm)_

_And I meant it when I said I wasn't ready and that you didn’t have to wait around for me to be so if you choose to you don’t get to be mad at me for it_

(Sat 11:54pm)

I’m sorry

_(Sat 11:54pm)_

_Yeah, you should be._

(Sat 11:55pm)

are you mad

_(Sat 11:55pm)_

_you know what yes, I'm fucking pissed_

_(Sat 11:56pm)_

_You don't get to dump all that shit on me and then when I call you out on it shrink into your little shell and throw out a sorry like that’s gonna fix everything because it doesn’t_

_(Sat 11:57pm)_

_I get it, you like me, I like you too and I wish it was that easy like dumb high school kids or even just fucking functional adults where there wasn't all this other shit going on but sometimes it doesn't work like that, and it's not fair that it can't just be that easy, but that's how it is_

_(Sat 11:57pm)_

_And it's particularly unfair to people like me and Hanji and it fucking sucks ass but you deal with the cards you get handed to in life_

_(Sat 11:57pm)_

_So yeah maybe it's a little fucked up, and it may seem like I'm just stringing you along, but I made it very clear that that's not what's happening, and that you didn't have to wait, you can go be romantic with whoever you want, but like I said, if you choose to, and you want to, you don't get to be angry at me for it_

_(Sat 11:58pm)_

_So don't come at me like that_

 

.

 

.

 

.

\--INCOMING CALL--

_“Your call has been forwarded to an automa-"_

\--CALL ENDED--

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

(Sun 12:00am)

please answer

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

\--INCOMING CALL--

"Don't hang up. Just. Hear me out, all the way through. You're right, completely right. I'm sorry, I know it doesn't fix anything, but I know how I get, and I can tell I'm doing it but I just, fuck. I don't know. I do know, but, y'know. This isn't going anywhere. Listen, Levi, I just really fucking like you. I really fucking like you and I just don't understand what's going on on your side of this whole thing but I want to y'know? I want you to be able to tell me whatever it is that's going on. Like, obviously I'm not going to force it out of you but there's also not much you could tell me that would make me like you any less. It's just, like, there's only so many people in this world you really truly connect with and I honestly haven't felt the way I feel about you about anyone else, ever? And it's like, I don't wanna give that up, y'know? I don't wanna give this up because I don't want to be romantic with anyone else. I don't want anyone else. And I know that just sounds like I'm spewing all this fluffy romcom bullshit to try to get your pants but I've never been more serious in all of my nineteen years of being alive."

_". . ."_

"Levi-"

_"I don't want anything to change."_

"What-"

_"I don't want it to change, I don't want you to - to find out - and think of me as someone else, as something different, and don't talk to me the same way, because nobody ever does. And I don't want to hear that shit from you, I don't want you to start minding your words and being so hyper-aware of - me - and I don't want to change. To you. I know, it doesn't make any fucking sense, and I can't explain it in a way that makes sense, because then - it will change. It will change everything, it always does, and I thought I was at a point now where I was comfortable enough in my own skin that I could just tell people and it wouldn't matter, but I've lost enough people over it, and I - accidentally, made the mistake of caring about the fuckboy college kid who lives in my phone. And the more I think about it the more I'm like, wow that's bullshit, y'know, because if it does change anything, that means you're the shitty person and not me, but it's hard to feel like that because it's still so - new. And even if it didn't change in the phob- . . Even if it changed in the walking on eggshells way, it's still a change. And I fucking hate change."_

“It won’t.”

_“You don’t know that.”_

“I mean, unless you’re gonna tell me something like you’ve got an unsustainable thirst for human blood, I do.”

_“. . .”_

“I’ll take your little snort as a sign of victory, thanks. I’m also going to keep going so you can’t deny it. I- whatever it is, things’ll be okay. Between us, I mean. That I can guarantee.”

_“. . . Can I trust you?”_

“Of course.”

_“Okay.”_

“Okay.”

  
\--CALL ENDED--


	13. January 11th 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tragic backstory aesthetic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you mean it's been a year oh my God  
> tfw you got a fulltime managment position and literally stopped having time for anything?? also i want you all to know that december 2015 i decided to watch One Piece and have literally done...... NOTHING since. it took me 8 months to catch up. i have 2 op tattoos.  
> ANYWAYS if you're reading this after we took a YEAR TO FUCKING UPDATE i am so sorry... and im so grateful for you and your existence!!!! really we deeply appreciate taking the time to come back to us after a year. and if you're just discovering this Welcome In  
> a very merry christmas and happy new year to everyone and thank you again for everything!!  
> also know that the reason we cameback to this was because we saw the season 2 trailer  
> xoxo  
> Krissie [Levi]

**January 11th, 2015**

 

Eren |  _ Levi _

 

(Sun 10:10pm)

what did you mean by “people like me and hanji”

 

_ (Sun 10:11pm) _

_ Oh _

_ (Sun 10:11pm) _

_ That _

_ (Sun 10:12pm) _

_ I meant that we both wear glasses _

 

(Sun 10:13pm)

I’m p sure that’s not what you meant but I’ll temporarily excuse it because you wear glasses and that is SO cute

 

_ (Sun 10:14pm) _

_ I’m serious _

_ (Sun 10:14pm) _

_ They’re only for when I read _

 

(Sun 10:15pm)

well then I want you to know that I accept your bad eyesight

(Sun 10:15pm)

and that I support glasses Levi 100%

 

_ (Sun 10:16pm) _

_ Merci _

 

(Sun 10:17pm)

gesundheit

 

_ (Sun 10:18pm) _

_ What are you doing up so late _

 

(Sun 10:19pm)

I could ask you the same thing dad

 

_ (Sun 10:20pm) _

_ Someone has a daddy kink _

 

(Sun 10:20pm)

STOP

 

_ (Sun 10:21pm) _

_ Have I reached Level 10 friend yet _

 

(Sun 10:22pm)

I think you’ve conquered enough bosses

(Sun 10:22pm)

why what’s up

 

_ (Sun 10:23pm) _

_ I was promised a tragic backstory on the subject of daddy kink _

 

(Sun 10:23pm)

ahh that’s right

(Sun 10:23pm)

I’m surprised you remembered

(Sun 10:23pm)

well before I reveal what’s behind door number Nope I just want to say, for the record, that I never confirmed having a daddy kink

(Sun 10:24pm)

at least not in the way u probably think

 

_ (Sun 10:25pm) _

_ Oh. I see _

_ (Sun 10:25pm) _

_ Neat _

 

(Sun 10:26pm)

woops

 

_ (Sun 10:27pm) _

_ So what’s behind door number 1 besides people calling you daddy _

 

(Sun 10:28pm)

alright

(Sun 10:28pm)

shit

(Sun 10:28pm)

fuck

(Sun 10:28pm)

okay

(Sun 10:28pm)

so

(Sun 10:32pm)

my dad’s always had a habit of not really being there, and when I was little I didn’t really care or mind because I was little and my dad was just at work a lot because he was WELL he still is a doctor and it was just how things were and we were always really happy to see him home whenever he was. obviously, me and Mikasa spent a lot of time with my mom, who didn’t have a job. we were close. we were all really close. I’m not going to go into specifics but my mom died in this freak accident when I was 10 and it kind of really fucked everything up. I’m not going to say that it affected my dad the most because that wouldn’t be fair to me or Mikasa, but he definitely handled it the worst.

(Sun 10:33pm)

by that I mean he just kind of

(Sun 10:33pm)

disappeared

(Sun 10:35pm)

he would just be gone for weeks and when he finally showed up he might as well have not been there at all. and, even to my teeny tiny 10 year old self, it was understandable because we were ALL grieving y’know? but I guess that’s another thing like our mom died and we were too little for that shit and it’s like he didn’t even try to be there for us there was no mommy’s in a better place now kids there was nothing

(Sun 10:36pm)

not to be super Cliche about it but our mom’s friend Hannes really did end up being more of a father to Mikasa and I than my dad ever was

(Sun 10:37pm)

he did try to patch things up though, when we were in high school. he did the whole “sorry I was never there” thing and Mikasa was able to forgive him but it took me a real long time to stop being so pissed at him

(Sun 10:37pm)

things are okay now sort of

(Sun 10:38pm)

they’re better

(Sun 10:38pm)

but I just

(Sun 10:38pm)

I don’t know

(Sun 10:29pm)

I resent him a little bit and I don’t know if that’ll ever go away

 

_ (Sun 10:31pm) _

_ Wow _

_ (Sun 10:31pm) _

_ You really trust me, huh? _

 

(Sun 10:32pm)

yeah I guess

(Sun 10:32pm)

kinda

(Sun 10:32pm)

like 1 whole trust

 

_ (Sun 10:33pm) _

_ Cut me some slack _

 

(Sun 10:34pm)

sorry sir but it looks like we’re all out of slack, if you give us your email we can alert you when we’ve restocked

(Sun 10:35pm)

however, if you’re willing to barter, I might be able to scrounge up enough slack for your immediate satisfaction

 

_ (Sun 10:36pm) _

_ Are you using your customer service voice on me _

 

(Sun 10:37pm)

is it working

 

_ (Sun 10:38pm) _

_ I’d have to hear it first _

 

.

 

.

 

.

  
  


\--INCOMING CALL--

 

_ “Hello.” _

 

“Hello, sir! Could I possibly interest you in buying some of our products today? We have the finest collection of high definition German dungeon porn in the business!”

 

_ “Oh, I was hoping you’d say high def German chocolate.” _

 

“Well, I’ll have you know every purchase comes with a free flavored lubricant of your choice! Options include: chocolate, strawberry, chocolate covered strawberries, banana, mint, and much more!”

 

_ “Mint, really? Who would want their ass to taste like toothpaste.” _

 

“Oh, you’d be surprised.”

 

_ “Which one’s your top-seller.” _

 

“Dank weed.”

 

_ “Hm, I took you as the straight edge type. Well, besides the obvious alcohol problem. _ ”

 

“Haha, well you did ask me what our top-seller is, not what my personal favorite is.”

 

_ “Well, what is it.” _

 

“Shameful Tears. It’s a little salty but gets the job done.”

 

_ “Just like me.” _

 

“Do you get the job done, sir?”

 

_ “Hm, I aim to please.” _

 

“I bet you do.”

 

_ “. . . Ow, fuck.” _

 

“What? Are you okay?”

 

_ “Yeah, I was trying to eat this toaster strudel and forgot about this fuck- up cavity.” _

 

“Hahaha! Fuck-up cavity?”

 

_ “Yeah, I need a root canal, but fuck that. Do I look like I can afford a root canal?” _

 

“I think you look a lot like an iPhone 5S. Anyways, I’m sorry.”

 

_ “What does that - oh, I get it. Ah, thank you. Sorry, for what, though?” _

 

“Well, obviously, you got a cavity from talking to me so much.”

 

“. . . ”

 

“. . . Because I’m so sweet. Hahaha!”

 

_ “I’m hanging up on you.” _

 

“. . . “

 

_ “. . . “ _

 

“You’re still there.”

 

_ “Yeah.” _

 

“. . . So, how’s uh. How’s Black Dynamite?”

 

_ “Pregnant.” _   
  


“Well, I know that! I mean like, how far along is she and stuff. Is cat pregnancy the same as human pregnancy? Do they go by cat months?”

 

_ “I honestly haven’t bothered to google it. I should probably do that. Stay on the phone, I’m doing that right now.” _

 

“Sure thing, cap.”

 

_ “64 to 67 days.” _

 

“Yikes. I wonder how the delivery works. You think they have the whole shebang with the foot rests and everything so the cat doctor is just staring directly into cat p-”

 

_ “Fuck, fuck. I’ve been so wrapped up in other shit that I just - haven’t had the fucking energy to deal with this. Fuck.” _

 

“Woah, wait, what? What’s wrong?”

 

_ “My fuckface landlord wasn’t supposed to find out about the damn cat, but he found out about the cat, and then he found out the cat was gonna multiply into more cats and he literally threatened to fine me for breaking the lease contract. And I can’t afford that shit so on a whim I told him I’d get rid of the cat, but I’ve been too busy to actually do anything about it, and the cat is halfway into being more than one cat and it’s gonna be really fucking hard hiding all those cats.” _

 

“Aw, but you can’t get rid of Black Dynamite. You guys are like the Grinch and Max.”

 

_ “It’s not like I want to, but he’s fucking relentless. I’ve been putting it off more so because I don’t fucking want to get rid of her, and I haven’t had the time to find someone to take her. Who wants a pregnant cat, anyway, besides those freaks who run puppy mills and shit.” _

 

“Well, I’m no puppy mill runner, but . . . ”

 

_ “ . . . I’m not pawning off my pregnant cat on you, that’s fucked up.” _

 

“Our place allows pets. We were already thinking about getting a dog but -  well, no, I was thinking about getting a dog. Mikasa wants a bird and Armin wants lizards, but cats are something I’m sure we can all agree on.”

 

_ “I’ll think about it.” _

 

“Huh.”

 

_ “I said, I’ll think about it.” _

 

“Wh- no! No. Not ‘Huh?’, ‘ _ Huh _ .’, I was thinking, you fuck.”

 

_ “Sorry about the brief meltdown, I’m over it now.” _

 

“Nonono, don’t. I see you, don’t think I don’t.”

 

_ “What is that supposed to mean.” _

 

“That! The thing you just did. Just a second ago you were all ‘ahh, no I love my cat I couldn’t bare to see her go whatever shall I do!’ and now it’s all ‘I’ll think about it’. What gives?”

 

_ “It’s a coping mechanism.” _

 

“Would you like to share with the class?”

 

_ “Would you like to stop psychoanalyzing me?” _

 

“Psychoa- ha, no. You’re right. I’m sorry, please excuse me for giving a shit.”

 

_ “Oh.” _

 

“I mean, I get it, I do. It is part of your aesthetic, after all, but it just- it would just be really cool if you didn’t just shut down whenever we’re getting somewhere, y’know?”

 

_ “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.” _

 

“And what idea would that be?”

 

_ “That I didn’t mean what I said.” _

 

“What?”

 

_ “. . . I meant what I said before, Eren.” _

 

“You’re allowed to show emotion without it being anything other than friendly, y’know.”

 

_ “. . . Hm. Well, I have an aesthetic to keep.” _

 

“Ooo, that was good.”

 

_ “I know.” _

 

“Mm. Well, the offer stands. No expiry date.”

 

_ “You don’t have to.” _   
  
“I want to. I wanna help.”

 

_ “I . . . appreciate that.” _

 

“Hehe. Alright, alright. I’ll stop being so chivalrous, wouldn’t want you to break something. You wanna keep talking or should I let you get your beauty sleep?”

 

_ “It’s up to you.” _ __   
  
“I’m not sure if you really wanna give me this power.”

 

_ “With great power comes great responsibility.” _   
  
“Is this your nice way of telling me to leave you alone?”

 

_ “Trust me, I would have outright told you to.” _

 

“Mmm. As much as I’d love to keep you up, I should probably let you go. I know you have work tomorrow and one of us has to be responsible.”

 

_ “Well, if you insist.” _

 

“Goodnight, my sweet prince.”

 

_ “Goodnight, Eren.” _

 

\--CALL ENDED--

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

(Mon 2:13pm)

I feel death

(Mon 2:13pm)

why didn’t I sign up for winter semester I’ve become nothing but a stereotypical red bull chugging dorito dust snorting fleshy pile of a man

(Mon 2:14pm)

not that I wasn’t one anyway but at least all the stairs on campus keep me in shape

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

(Mon 11:43pm)

so I saw taken 3 with the #shinganshinasquad after work and it was a mistake

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

(Tue 11:05am)

why am I up so early

(Tue 11:11am)

MAKE A WISH!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Tue 11:23am)

I’m gonna take the bus downtown wish me luck

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

(Tue 3:27pm)

I L I V E

(Tue 4:01pm)

I found a little japanese store I’m going in

(Tue 4:06pm)

WHY DO THEY HAVE?? AVENGER S THIN G S

(Tue 4:06pm)

they have a thor’s hammer keychain I’m getting it

(Tue 4:06pm)

IT’S $12

(Tue 4:15pm)

I got it anyway

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

(Tue 7:31pm)

that was wild

(Tue 7:31pm)

I can’t believe I didn’t get lost ONCE I’m the fuckign king of direction what the fuck

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

(Wed 2:58pm)

leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevi

(Wed 2:58pm)

ivel

(Wed 2:59pm)

wait that’s SO weird I’m gonna call you ivel from now 

(Wed 3:00pm)

ivel (pronounced evil)

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

(Wed 7:40pm)

idk who these noodles belong to but I’m gonna eat em

(Wed 7:40pm)

I know what you’re thinking but that’s what they get for not putting their name on it

(Wed 7:41pm)

how do they know these aren’t my noodles? they don’t

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

(Thurs 8:10pm)

where’d u go… i miss u so… seems like it’s been 4ever since u’ve been gone…

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

_ (Friday 7:05pm) _

_ Sorry. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw we've had this chapter written out for like a year oops we're like REALLY sorry  
> i don't wanna say that we're gonna regularly update this bc Life but we ARE gonna start working on it  
> we love you very much  
> thank you so so so so much for all the support and what not <3  
> happy holidays!!!
> 
> xoxo melissa (eren)


End file.
